Thirty-year-old Christopher Offord from Panama City, Fla. was so mad that his wife wanted to cuddle after sex that he bludgeoned her with a claw hammer, striking her approximately 70 times.
What he really wanted to do - instead of cuddling - was ...
... wait for it ...
... to WATCH SPORTSCENTER.
[Incidentally, he wanted to watch clips from a Mike Tyson fight. Innnnnnteresting.]
Now, I know how some of you guys hate to cuddle after. And I know some you guys get all uppity at chicks because we like to talk during the game, or if we walk in front of the TV, or if we're not able to grab you another beer within 1.2 seconds of you asking us for one. But this fucker took it to a whole other level. Look at the picture they took of him in the courtroom. You just know that mafaka's out of his mind.
Anyway. The whole death penalty issue generally freaks me out, but in this instance, I hope fucker frys - while watching SportsCenter.