Mar 12, 2009

Heathers: The Musical

Yeah, you heard me.



Ugh:
The influential 1988 teen dark comedy, which launched the careers of Winona Ryder, Christian Slater and scribe Dan Waters, is stagebound in a production being developed by Andy Fickman, director of "Race to Witch Mountain," who is making a return to his musical roots.

Fickman, who helmed the musical "Reefer Madness," is working with "Reefer" partner Kevin Murphy, who is writing the "Heathers" lyrics and the book, and composer Larry O'Keefe, who earned a Tony nomination for best score for the Broadway version of "Legally Blonde."

The trio has worked on the production under the radar for some time, even doing readings this week in Endeavor's screening room. The readings saw "Veronica Mars" star Kristen Bell playing the lead and Christian Campbell as J.D., with Jenna Leigh Green ("Wicked"), BrokeDown Cadillac lead singer Corri English and Christine Lakin (the CW's "Valentine") as the three Heathers.

[...]

The project has the blessing of [Heathers Writer Dan] Waters, who controls the underlying rights to the material. [Andy] Fickman said he sat down with Waters early on "to make sure we were on the same page" and that Waters has seen the readings.

"He understood that our goals were to be creatively attuned to his original work," said Fickman, who is repped by Endeavor and Evolution.

The film offered many over-top-moments as well as choice lines, something Fickman is eager to bring out musically.

" 'I love my dead gay son," Fickman quoted. "If you can get that into a song, then that is just perfect."

Jan 24, 2009

Drunken Negro Faces

Ted Kefalinos, proprietor of Lafayette French Pastry in NYC's Greenwich Village, says there's nothing offensive about his Drunken Negro Face cookies. You be the judge:



Courtesy of Gothamist.

Jan 20, 2009

Congratulations, Mr. President

(Photo credit: Damon Winter/The New York Times)


And now, the hard work begins. Let's do this. But first:

Adios, douchebag! (Photo: Saul Loeb)


Jan 6, 2009

Faux Foie Gras?

Yeah. Good luck with that:

Worldwide Challenge to Find the Perfect Humane Alternative to a Cruel
Dish

For Immediate Release:January 5, 2009
Contact:Nicole Matthews
757-622-7382

Norfolk, Va. -- Sir Roger Moore has condemned it--and this month, top
French chef Albert Roux of London restaurant La Gavroche expressed his disgust over the force-feeding involved in its production--but foie gras lives on in gastronomy. So, PETA has a solution: Let top chefs vie to create the best faux foie gras (fatty duck or goose liver) in the world, with a prize and naming rights going to the winner.

A $10,000 prize and much publicity will go to the winning chef in
PETA's international Fine Faux Foie Gras Challenge, announced today. The winner must produce an original, purely vegetarian faux foie gras comparable in taste and texture to the real glob of prized bird fat, and it must beat out all other entries. First and second runners-up will each receive $1,000 worth of top-drawer kitchen equipment.

The winning chef--who may choose the name of his or her creation--must also agree to offer the dish on a fine-dining menu and allow PETA to distribute the recipe to chefs and media around the world. Only the recipe should be submitted; already-prepared recipes will not be accepted. (
Click here for the complete list of rules.)

Foie gras is produced by force-feeding ducks and geese until they fall
ill with hepatic steatosis, which causes the liver to become painfully engorged. Investigations at foie gras farms have documented sick, dead, and dying animals. Some had holes in their necks from feeding-pipe injuries, and most were unable to walk, dragging themselves by their wings--if they moved at all. Most such birds retreat into a state of shock and fear of future feedings. Foie gras production is so cruel that it has been banned in 16 nations, including the U.K. and Israel as well as in the state of California.

"The goal of our Fine Faux Foie Gras Challenge is to give fine diners a
compassionate alternative to eating the diseased liver of a tormented bird," says PETA Vice President Bruce Friedrich. "It's a marvelous opportunity for a chef to create a culinary first that is delicious and won't ruffle any feathers."

For more information and the complete list of rules for the challenge,
please visit
PETA.org/FauxFoieGrasChallenge.

Jan 5, 2009

Spam cracks me up.

I've been out of the office for the last two weeks, and today is my first day back.

Our company e-mail system does this thing where they filter out all your junk e-mails and sends you a daily list of junk e-mail that it's intercepted for you. You can then review the list and unjunk any legit e-mails.

Sometimes, spam still manages to hit my inbox. What's more disturbing, though, is that the sender appears to be my own work e-mail address.

Over the last two weeks, I've received quite a few e-mails with somewhat interesting subject lines. Here's a sample:

  • "Stiff, long and hard rod"
  • "I'm so thick now she says it hurts"
  • "Never be flaccid again"
  • "Don't wait to be huge"
  • "Proven to work in male subjects"
  • "Re: Scarlett [Johansen?] did it for cash"
  • "Fit perfectly between her jugs"
  • "Women will flock like bees to honey"

And my personal favorite, "With 9 inches everything is possible."

Indeed.

Dec 31, 2008

Bring on 2009



We (and by "we," I mean "I") here at You Forgot Poland! wish you the best in the coming year.

Dec 25, 2008

Happy Holidays!

Everyone here at You Forgot Poland! wishes you a very merry holiday season. To those of you who still come by my humble corner of the blogosphere---including those of you who still come by for that bikini wax video---thank you very much for your presence.



I turn 36 today. It's not really hitting me yet; I have tons of stuff on my mind, both on a personal and professional level, and it's making me feel a little overwhelmed.

Needless to say, I'll have plenty of time during the the coming year to revel in the joys of being 36.

There are joys to being 36 ... right?

Dec 22, 2008

Aretha Does Mariah

Here's a clip (from my long-lost blog love, Crunk and Disorderly) of Aretha Franklin doing a cover of Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body."



And here's another clip (courtesy of FourFour) in which the Queen of Soul offers a little commentary on the subject:

Dec 17, 2008

Last-Minute Holiday Shopping

Looking for a unique gift to give that extra-special someone on your Xmas list?

How about meat perfume?
The Whopper sandwich is America's favorite burger. FLAME (TM) by BK(r) captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat.


Props to the fine folks at EaterSF for the heads up.

Dec 16, 2008

Home Alone: The Otter Edition



From my new favorite blog.

Props to Tony for the heads up.

Dec 10, 2008

If I ever get married ...

... we MUST play this game at my bridal shower:



I'm just saying.


Props to Alisa for the link!

Dec 6, 2008

Get well soon, Bettie


This is a bummer:
LOS ANGELES (AP) — Bettie Page, a 1950s pinup known for her raven-haired bangs and saucy come-hither looks, was hospitalized in intensive care after suffering a heart attack, her agent said Friday.

"She's critically ill," Mark Roesler of the Curtis Management Group told The Associated Press.

He said the 85-year-old had the heart attack Tuesday and was hospitalized Friday in the Los Angeles area.

A family friend, Todd Mueller, said Page was in a coma. When asked to confirm, Roesler said, "I would not deny that," but he would not comment further on her condition.
Getting old sucks.

UPDATE, 12/11: Bettie Page passed away tonight at age 85.

(Image courtesy of Stencilry.org.)

Dec 5, 2008

Shop Joe

I thought we'd heard the last from Samuel J. Wurzelbacher. But I was wrong.
Make of it what you will, but later this month a book [Joe the Plumber] co-wrote with relatively unknown author and publisher Thomas N. Tabback, "Fighting for the American Dream," will come out. Thousands of copies have already been pre-ordered at $24.95 each via a star-spangled website (theme: "It's about we the people, not we the government") that also offers Joe-approved merchandise and the ability, for a price, to post to its blog and forum.

[...]

"Fighting for the American Dream" is part biography and part current events, Mr. Tabback said, adding that it gives a behind-the scenes account of Mr. Wurzelbacher's encounter with Mr. Obama and what happened in the weeks that followed. It will also dip into Mr. Wurzelbacher's personal history and his take on American values.

Mr. Tabback said that the site is Mr. Wurzelbacher's new platform to give voice to those that may not have one. "[It] will help galvanize an effort for regular folks in the country to be heard on Capitol Hill and local and state governments," he said.

Joining Joe, for a fee But that will come at a cost. For $19.95, Mr. Wurzelbacher fans can become "Freedom Members" with posting rights on his blog and forum. With membership they also get a monthly newsletter from Mr. Wurzelbacher and 10% off "Shop Joe" merchandise. For that price, they also become "an integral part of an American movement to preserve our American Dream," the site claims, but what that means remains unclear.
Please, Jah. Make it stop.

Dec 4, 2008

Reflections on McCain's Failed Campaign

I just finished reading the Rolling Stone article, "Requiem for a Maverick" by Matt Taibbi, which provides his perspective on how McCain's 2008 presidential campaign got so fucked up. Here's just a sample:

In short, McCain entered this election season being the worst thing that anyone can be, in the eyes of the Rove-school Republicans: Different. Independent. His own man. He exited the campaign on his knees, all his dignity gone, having handed the White House to the hated liberals after spending the last months of the race with numb-nuts Sarah Palin on his arm and Karl Rove's cock in his mouth. Even if you wanted to vote for him, you didn't know who you were voting for. The old McCain? The new McCain? Neither? Both?
I could have done without the Karl "Doughboy" Rove fellatio image. But interestingly --- or maybe not so interestingly, now that I think about it --- Taibbi also lays blame on the media and the rest of us for buying into all of this bullshit back when Not My President was up for election in the first place:
In short, it was an utterly degrading bourgeois/ruling-class media deception that "ordinary Americans," if they had any brains at all, ought to have been disgusted by to the point of rebellion. But ordinary Americans, alas, would have been perfectly happy to spend the rest of eternity mesmerized by the endless and endlessly condescending I'd Like to Have a Beer With You sideshow, leaving the boring policy stuff to the people who actually pay for the campaigns. Things could have just kept getting dumber and dumber, and no one would have been surprised. There was certainly no trend that suggested our presidential elections were bound to return to being great, sweepingly important contests of ideas. But that's what happened.
But it's not all entirely depressing. Taibbi ends the article, thusly:

When Obama took the stage in Grant Park as president-elect, that question was answered. We pulled off an amazing thing here, delivering on our society's most ancient promises, in front of a world that still largely thought of us as the home of Bull Connor's fire hose. This dumbed-down, degraded election process of ours has, in spite of itself and to my own extreme astonishment, brilliantly re-energized the American experiment and restored legitimacy to our status as the world's living symbol of individual freedom. We feel like ourselves again, and the floundering economy and our two stagnating wars now seem like mere logistical problems that will be overcome sooner or later, instead of horrifying symptoms of inevitable empire-decline.

For this to happen, absolutely everything had to break right. And for that we will someday owe sincere thanks to John McCain, and Sarah Palin, and George W. Bush. They not only screwed it up, they screwed it up just right.
Obviously, I'm really happy that Obama, not McCain, won the presidency. I just worry about the eight-year-old clusterfuck Obama just inherited. I don't doubt that Obama will be a successful president; I just worry about how long righting the wrongs of eight years of Bush will take. People I care about are losing their jobs; people I care about are on the verge of bankruptcy due to adjustable rate mortages; people I care about are being forced to take unpaid vacations; people I care about are unable to afford any kind of healthcare whatsoever. I remain optimistic about Obama's presidency, because I have to be; to think otherwise would leave me hopeless, jaded, cynical and completely disengaged.


Anyway, read the article in its entirety here.


Props to Otto Man at Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Nachos for the link.

Adventures in Bacon

I'm simultaneously enthralled and repulsed by this:




See it in all its glory here. Props to Kenneth for the link.

Dec 3, 2008

Fortune Cookie Wisdom



I suspect bloggers create regular features (e.g., "Random Friday _____blogging") to help prevent long periods of writer's block. It is in that spirit that I offer to you, dear reader(s), my new regular feature, Fortune Cookie Wisdom. Here's today's profound offering:


Be yourself, and you will always be in fashion.



Photo lifted from here. Inspiration from this post. Writer's block coming from who knows where.

Nov 19, 2008

eHarmony to allow same-sex matches

Y'all already know I have no love for eHarmony. But this is interesting:


Online dating service eHarmony said Wednesday it will launch a new Web site that caters to same-sex singles as part of a discrimination settlement with New Jersey's Civil Rights Division.

The settlement is the result of a complaint New Jersey resident Eric McKinley filed against the online matchmaker in 2005.

McKinley, 46, said he was shocked when he tried to sign up for the dating site but couldn't get past the first screen because there was no option for men seeking men.

"It's very frustrating and it's very humiliating to think that other people can do it and I can't," he said. "And the only reason I can't is because I'm a gay man. That's very hurtful."

Neither the company nor its founder, Neil Clark Warren, acknowledged any liability.

Under the settlement, eHarmony will pay the New Jersey $50,000 to cover administrative costs and will pay McKinley $5,000.

Ok, fine. McKinley seems to be satisfied with the outcome --- in fact, he called it "fabulous" --- but why not just augment eHarmony as it exists today? I guess you take the small victories whenever you can get them, but I don't really see how this does anything to advance equality.

The new website will be called "Compatible Partners." Yawn.

Nov 16, 2008

P.S. 22 Children's Chorus, NYC

I can't believe it took me so long to hear about these wonderful kids. Watch them do their version of Tori Amos' 1,000 Oceans and tell me it doesn't send a shiver down your spine.



Just look at them! They're all so into it. That's more than I can say about myself and my classmates when we were in chorus.

But then again, doing Tori Amos, Bjork, Coldplay, and Donnie Hathaway covers is WAY more exciting than singing "Sweet Caroline" and "Jingle Bell Rock."

Oh, check out their version of Madonna's "Sky Meets Heaven." Some of them are in their Halloween costumes. Cute!

Anyway, they have a a YouTube channel and a blog, if you want to see more.


Props to Perez Hilton (don't judge!) for the heads up.

Nov 13, 2008

Obama meets Jay-Z

Oh my god, this mash-up between pop culture and politics just tickles my heart to no end.



Props to Brion for the heads up.

Nov 11, 2008

It's never too early to say goodbye ...

... to George W. Bush.

Paul Waldman at the American Prospect gets the party started:
Goodbye, we can say at last, to the most powerful man in the world being such a ridiculous buffoon, incapable of stringing together two coherent sentences. Goodbye to cringing with dread every time our president steps onto the world stage, sure he'll say or do something to embarrass us all. Goodbye to being represented by a man who embodies everything our enemies want the people of the world to believe about America -- that we are ignorant, cruel, and only care about foreign countries when we decide to stomp on them. Goodbye to his giggle, and his shoulder shake, and his nicknames. Goodbye to a president who talks to us like we're a nation of fourth-graders.

And goodbye, of course, to Dick Cheney. Goodbye to the man whose naked contempt for democracy contorted his face to a permanent sneer, who spent his days in his undisclosed location with his man-sized safe. And while we're at it, goodbye to Cheney's consigliore David Addington, as malevolent a force as has ever left his trail of slime across our federal institutions.

Goodbye, indeed, to the entire band of liars and crooks and thieves who have so sullied the federal government that belongs to us all. We can even say goodbye to those who have already gone, to Rummy and Scooter, to Fredo and Rove, tornados of misery left in their wake.
Go and read the rest.