Aug 3, 2005

It's times like this I wish I lived in New York

New Yorkers are killing each other.

It's all part of this "assasination tournament" game called Street Wars. Here's how it goes:

At the start of the game, you receive a manila envelope that contains the following info on your intended target(s):

  • A picture
  • The home address(es)
  • The work address(es)
  • The name(s)
  • Contact information

Upon receipt of this information, you or your team's mission is to find and "kill" (using a water gun, water balloon or super soaker) your target(s).

Granted, giving my info to strangers who are trying to "kill" me is pretty creepy, and in the wrong hands, could prove quite disatrous and stupid. But assuming all participants in StreetWars are of sound mind and body and are aware that THIS IS JUST A GAME, I'm sure this game is a shitload of fun.

The website has all the information you need: How to sign up (it's over), whom to contact (cool email address, btw), other cities that have played this game (not many), and various media clips.

What cracks me up the most are the game updates. Like this one:

SHADOW GOVERNMENT,

***AGENT "NOCTURNE...THE JACKAL" FROM SLEEPER CELL 107***

***TARGET WAS ASSASSINATED AT APPROXIMATELY 10:35PM AUGUST, 2ND 2005***

MISSION SUMMARY:

AGENTS "THE BARONESS", "COPPERHEAD" AND "NOCTURNE...THE JACKAL" STAKED OUT THE TARGETS HOME ADDRESS. TARGET WAS SEEN LEAVING HOME TO PICK UP A 40OZ AT LOCAL STORE DOWN THE STREET. TARGET WAS ARMED HIDING A WATER GAT IN A PLASTIC BAG. AGENTS COPPERHEAD AND NOCTURNE FOLLOWED THE TARGET ON FOOT AND AS HE ENTERED THE LOCAL STORE. AGENT COPPERHEAD CALLED OUT TARGETS NAME. AS THE TARGET TURNED AROUND HE WAS WASTED BY MULTIPLE HEADSHOTS FROM AGENTS COPPERHEAD AND NOCTURNE.

***WE HAVE ATTACHED PROOF OF OUR KILL - SEE ATTACHED PICTURE***

WE LOOK FORWARD TO CAPPIN MORE PUNK ASSES

REGARDS,

AGENT NOCTURNE...THE JACKAL

SLEEPER CELL 107

AGENT # SC107-666

Courtesy of this girl, who got served on Day One.

3 comments:

seamus said...

Remember the movie "TAG: The Assassination Game"?

No? Just me?

Tom Harper said...

This reminds me of a creepy movie called "Frailty" (starring Bill Paxton). This guy gets told by God (during his dreams) that certain people are demons and it's his job to seek them out and kill them. He's never met or heard of these people but God tells him who they are and where they live. It's a very gory movie, very intense.

Adobo said...

†om- loved Frailty!! Intense is right! The twist in the end was awesome!

Oh trivia for those who don't know... During the time of the Crusades the members of a certain secret Muslim sect engaged people to terrorize their Christian enemies by performing murders as a religious duty. These acts were carried out under the influence of hashish, and so the killers became known as hashshashin, meaning eaters or smokers of hashish. Hashshashin evolved into the word assassin.

So as a result, you couldnt pay me to play this game. With my luck, and being the paranoid schizo I am, I would be afraid that my "assassin" would be high on crack and use a REAL gun!