Project Runway After Party

Episode 8: High Flying Fashion, AKA Redemption
The morning after Robert’s dismissal, Kayne talks about how it sucks that he’s gone because they had such great banter going on, etc. but quickly switches back to “I’m here to win” mode. Keep it real, Kayne. Jeffery’s relieved that he made it through the Mom Challenge, and just can’t let it go already. Everyone gets ready to head over to Parsons, and I notice that Laura appears to be putting on false eyelashes (the individual kind) in the bathroom. Girl, you know how hard those are to put on? I’m just saying.

The woman continues to impress me, every single episode.

Two of the models have to go. Vincent gets first pick, etc. etc. Do we really care which model makes it? I didn’t think so. Plus, they all pick the same models anyway. Moving on!

But can I just say how hilarious it was when Kayne’s model ran backstage all excited and bubbly because she made it to the next round? All the other models couldn’t even be bothered to get their starving asses off the couch to congratulate her. As a friend of mine says: MOLDED!

Heidi tells the designers that their next challenge is to design a garment for a “hip, international jet setter.” But, for whom?

Jeffery thinks it’s him. Kayne thinks it’s Tara Reid.

No, seriously.

Tim tells them they’re designing for themselves. I love how the models have slowly been marginalized this season. Ha ha, damn heffers!

Just kidding.

Off to Mood!

Kayne picks a bright Versace burnout print that he’s going to cut out and sew on the back of his shirt and on the front. Jeffery says it’s tacky. Personally, seeing the fabric unrolled from the bolt, I thought it was gorgeous. Imagine that fabric transformed into an Uli dress. I don’t know about you, but I’m sold!

Angela contemplates her fabric choices. Tim Gunn comes by and reminds her that the challenge was for a hip, international jet setter. Angela immediately grasps the hidden meaning/insult behind his statement, and I start to think that maybe Angela’s got a little bit of a mean streak in her too. I mean, takes one to know one, right? Ahem. Moving on.

Michael says that his garment will be “Hamptons meets The Hood.”

“I’m gonna rock the hell out of it during the runway,” he says. Play on, playa!

Uli gives us some insight as to how she became the Queen of Prints:

“When I’m flying to exotic locations, I always bring my party dresses, they look good, even when you’re wasted.”

Thanks for the tip!

Vincent strips down to his boxers to figure out how to construct a man’s pant. At least he wears boxers. I don’t know how I’d react if he wore a banana hammock, knowutimsayin?

Jeffery and Angela go at it in the workroom. Angela’s pissed because he’s still disrespecting her mom. Jeffery’s mad because he thinks Angela and her mom were conspiring against him. Enough of these tired fools already!

Tim Gunn goes around the room, giving his usual feedback.

Just when you think they’re gone, two fleurchons, one for each butt cheek, pop up on Angela’s pant/capri/bermuda short. Ugh.

That night, back at the Atlas, Michael teaches Kayne how to walk down the runway. So cute, on so many levels. I’ll leave it to Quelchechose at Previously On ... to break down The Magic that is Michael. All I have to say is, give me a piece of some of that funky stuff! Michael even makes the “two thumbs up” hand gesture look cool.

On to the runway!

This week’s judges: Michael Kors, NINAGARCIA, and Francisco Costa, creative director at Calvin Klein’s women’s collection.

Jeffery’s outfit was very Jeffery. Very rock star, with a provocative checkerboard racer stripe going from his navel to his crotch. Hey Jeffery, Mick Jagger called; he wants his pants back. Rowr! No, but seriously, the look worked for him. Jeffery thinks his outfit is going to freak people out on the plane. He talks about how he’s designed for and worked with rock stars, so he understands his audience.

Laura’s dress looked elegant and comfy. The better to clothe your emerging baby belly with, my dear. NINAGARCIA thinks the dress looks smart. I want one. Now. You hear me, Laura? Now. In black. Thanks.

Vincent’s outfit was a charcoal grey v-necked pullover with a trouser. Yawn. Heidi thinks it’s safe. The Calvin Klein guy thinks it’s great. Kors thinks they look like pajamas you get on a first class seat [They give you pajamas in first class?].

Vincent's response: “I’m the twist.”

Or maybe you’re twisted? Just saying, Vincent.

Angela’s shorts, a silk linen, were blasted because of the impracticality of the fabric.

“You’re a mess just standing,” Kors said. “So traveling, you’re gonna be like a homeless person.”

Hello, after the ribbing Robert got for busting out with a linen jacket for the fashion icon challenge, you’d think all the designers would steer clear from anything that even rhymed with “linen.”

But not Angela, she continues to forge on in the non-ironing, fleurchon-loving, spazzed-out-living, sketch-hating land of Jubilee Jumbles.

Michael created a white seersucker Michael Jackson-esque motorcycle top, paired with an updated cargo pant with straps that wrapped around his legs. Superfluous? Maybe. But it works. Somebody get Puff Daddy on the phone!

The judges think Uli’s dress works everywhere that’s tropical, and that’s it. And while that may be Uli’s reality (since she lives in Miami), the judges pretty much beg to see something else from her. Uh oh. One-note alert!

NINAGARCIA thinks Kayne’s outfit channels his inner Elvis. Kors thinks it’s a fashion “don’t.” I think if you slap that outfit on a male figure skater, we'd have a winner.

Bravo decides to torture us a bit longer, because Heidi tells them they have an hour to pack and get to the airport, because they have tickets waiting for them. You know. See how the outfits travel. Get it? Because they’re jet setters!

Off to the airport!

The designers find out they’re going to Paris. Jeffery thinks it’s meant to be, because he’s wearing an Eiffel Tower pendant. Kismet, I tell you.

Oh yeah, and they’re flying first class, bitches. With Tim Gunn!

“I don’t know how I’d get through life after this without Tim Gunn popping up in my life every once in a while,” Jeffery says.

Moi aussi, Jeffery.

In a van driving through the streets of Paris, there’s much gushing and seat bouncing and bug eyes and exclamations of “I can’t believe I’m in Paris” and how “dreams are coming true” at that very moment. And that was just from Angela.

You know Uli’s all, whatevs, Paris is like, been there, done that. It must be that European air about her.

Did you know Parsons had a school in Paris? Neither did Michael. Okay, me neither.

A workroom is set up for the designers. But there’s only seven tables.

Tim Gunn introduces Catherine Malandrino, a designer that Angela “completely admires.” Jeffery finds her inspirational. Everyone loves them some Catherine, who announces to the designers that she’s the fourth judge, and that her task is to see if the garments travelled well.

Tim Gunn then tells the designers that they’re going to give one of them the boot. Sure, Bravo. Bring them to Paris, only to kick one of them out. Get your mindfuck on!

It’s a mafakin’ walk off!

The designers walk down the aisle for Tim and Catherine, and it quickly becomes evident that Season 2's designers definitely knew how to work that runway better than Season 3. Except Michael. He's got his style down - the man doesn't even have to TURN, alright?

Catherine runs through the designers and then tells Jeffery that he won this week’s challenge. Good. Maybe this will pull that stick out of his ass. Or jam it up further? You decide.

“Kayne, I’m sorry,” Catherine says. “You look ridiculous. You look like a fake rock star.” Ouch!

“Angela, you’re just looking like you’re from another world,” Catherine says. “You’re not a jet setter.”

And with that, Catherine Malandrino, aka the Heidi Klum proxy, gives Angela the adieu. FINALEMENT! Because she had to fly all the way to Paris, pack up her workstation in front of everybody else, and endure being called basically an extraterrestrial by a fashion designer she basically admired and respected, this was an especially messed-up way to go.

But who’s complaining?