Help this girl get laid, so we can go on with our lives

Jane Magazine is on a mission to get Sarah laid. This 29-year-old blonde Manhattanite hopes to lose her virginity by the time she turns 30.



Why does this bother me? Where to begin?

Sure, statistically speaking Sarah may be an outlier when it comes to losing her virginity, but the fact that Jane Magazine is hyping up this campaign just sends the wrong message --- that staying a virgin in your late 20's is weird. Or that something's wrong with you if you haven't had sex yet, like you're some cringing violet or something:

When Sarah first e-mailed me, I thought she'd be the type of girl whose voice is so hesitant, you have to read her lips to figure out what she's saying. What I didn't expect was a tall blond with a nice rack who performs stand-up comedy at open-mic nights. Still, some people have a hard time believing there could be a Jane reader who hasn't found someone to do it with.

And while the magazine's target audience is young women with an average age of 28, to be honest, I thought this was a competitor to Teen Vogue. And if I had that impression, I'm sure there are others who thought the same. And you just know that they'll splash headlines like "Oddities: The 29-Year-Old Virgin!" on the cover to boost spur-of-the-moment sales at the checkstand. So, while shopping with mom, Barely Legal-Teens Ashley and Buffy might glance up from their Sidekicks just long enough to see this headline - and if they're virgins too, well, then, the damage is done.

I realize that this Sarah person is an adult, and she may feel like she's ready to take the plunge, so to speak. So then why have a contest that basically leaves your potential First One in the hands of some random magazine readers?

That's just dumb.

At first, I questioned the motives of this young, attractive woman, putting herself out like this, like some crazy skank, but now I'm wondering if this could be a stunt to help promote her blog, The Virgin Chronicles, which is pretty much a blog on Jane Magazine's website, which also leads me to believe that this is a stunt created by Jane Magazine to increase readership. After all, isn't that where it's at in the magazine biz?

And if Sarah - a stand-up comic - approached Jane, is this a stunt concocted to a) self promote and/or b) get material for her stage act?

Either way, forget this chick. Yours Truly is the one who needs to be hooked up, alright?