That better be one charming mafakin' pig

Great. Just great:

The more processed meat a person eats, the more likely they may be to develop stomach cancer, according to a new research review.

But the review, published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, doesn’t call processed meats a cause of stomach cancer. There’s not enough evidence for that, write the researchers.
[...]
Larsson and colleagues reviewed 15 studies on stomach cancer and processed meats, which included bacon, sausage, hot dogs, salami, ham, and smoked or cured meat.
[...]
They found that higher intake of processed meats was associated with a greater risk of stomach cancer. “Findings were most consistent for bacon consumption,” the researchers write.

I don't normally eat a lot of bacon, but I can't say 'no' to thinly sliced coppa and prosciutto. Damn.