Happy New Year!

Have a great one, everybody.

I've been tagged!

Fellow BARBARian colleague MrGumby2U tagged me with the following meme, and I am more than happy to oblige.

So it goes:

· Find the nearest book
· Name the book
· The author
· Turn to page 123
· Go to the fifth sentence on the page
· Copy out the next three sentences and post to your blog.
· Tag three more folks.

It just so happens that I have a new copy of Vice magazine’s book “Do’s & Don’ts: 10 years of Vice magazine’s street fashion critiques” by Suroosh Alvi, Gavin McInnes and Shane Smith.

Yes, I am tragically hip. And Brion, the friend who gave this book to me, is even hipper than I. Fear us.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Vice, it’s a Montreal-based publication. And it’s free. I first saw it many years ago at some snobby shoe shop in SoHo but never gave it much thought until Brion brought it up a few months ago. Each issue has a theme that they explore, such as bizarre cults, poverty, immersionism, bullshit, and obsessions, just to name a few. And they have this recurring feature, called “Do’s & Don’ts” in which they take photographs of people off the street and provide commentary on the subject’s stylishness, dorkyness, hotness, or some combination of the above. And from there, the laughs ensue.

So now they’ve compiled these into a book, which is the book I’ve chosen for today’s meme-fest.

However, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to say I’m taking a bit of artistic license with this one, because:

a) The book isn’t exactly arranged in paragraph form,
b) I didn’t really like the fifth sentence,
c) The photo attached to the caption I did choose is funnier, and
d) Work with me here, people.

Without further adieu, the “fifth sentence” (from page 124):

The only thing that dresses worse than a teenager is a middle-aged rich guy. He’s got the trophy wife and the Radiohead CD, but most importantly he’s got his trademark “hope I die ‘fore I get old” leather pants.

Now, this caption, in and of itself, is only mildly amusing, I will admit. But when you look at the accompanying picture:



You, the ever astute reader, may notice a slight resemblance (okay, maybe if you squint and shake your head a little) to our beloved John Aravosis of AMERICAblog...



... whom we love and visit daily (the blog, not John Aravosis), and whom we are sure has way better fashion sense than the gentleman in this picture, Jah bless him.

Anyhoo. There it is.

So, whom to tag next? I hereby anoint:
· Jonsey of Jones of the Nile
· Laurie at Defiance
· Kenneth at All Bleeding Stops Eventually




(Photo of John Aravosis courtesy of Bart Nagel Photography. Photo of man and trophy wife courtesy of Vice.)

Saddam Hussein is Dead

Executed last night by hanging.


I get it that Hussein was a dispicable human being. I get that his despotic rule resulted in the deaths of hundreds of his own people. I get it. But you know how I feel about the death penalty, and there's something about Hussein's trial and subsequent execution that just does not sit right with me. Nevermind the fact that several countries (England, France, the European Union, the Vatican, for chrissakes) are criticizing the move.

And what about Dubya? Of course not. This is just business as usual for him:

Bringing Saddam Hussein to justice will not end the violence in Iraq, but it is an important milestone on Iraq’s course to becoming a democracy that can govern, sustain, and defend itself, and be an ally in the War on Terror.

Shortly after Hussein was executed, a bomb killed at leat 68 people in Iraq. See what I mean? More of the same. Will Hussein's execution help the situation in Iraq? I don't see it. What I do fear is retaliation and revenge.

Will 2007 be the Year of the Vendetta?


P.S. Tony Blair didn't offer an immediate comment to Hussein's execution because he's kickin' it in Miami visiting with one of the freakin' Bee Gees. One of the freakin' Bee Gees, bitches.



UPDATE: The Carpetbagger posts a thought-provoking reflection on Hussein's execution. Same with Joe at AMERICAblog. Windspike at Bring It On! doubts that Iraq is now better off. Good to know I'm not alone.

UPDATE #2: Juan Cole writes that we've succeeded in making Saddam a martyr.






(Photo credit: Iraqi television via Associated Press)

Ford vs. Brown

That Colored Fella asks the eternal question:

Who had a greater impact on American society:
Gerald Ford or James Brown?

If you ask me, I'd say Mr. Sex Machine.

XXXIV

Another year, another birthday. Another opportunity to reflect on months past.

In a nutshell: The first half? Pretty cool. The last half? Not so much. Here's hoping that Year 34 turns out to be fucking fabulous the whole way through.

I think I've earned it.

Thanks to all of you for stopping by my humble little corner of the Internets, and for sharing with me your varied points of view, either by leaving me comments, being on my blogroll and/or my daily blog feeds. Sure, I provide the content here, but being able to interact with you guys makes this project/hobby/obsession so interesting and worthwhile.

So yeah, happy birthday to me and all that, but really I just want to take this opportunity to wish you all a happy holiday and a wonderful new year!

The gift of all gifts

This one made me nearly snort out my yogurt. Audio NSFW.

Featuring Justin Timberlake. Yes, Justin Timberlake.




Somewhere out there, the guys from Jodeci are high-fiving each other.

Props to Otto Man at Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Nachos for the heads up.

Go Elf Yourself

Happy Holidays, bitches. I even wore eyeshadow for this one. Enjoy.







(Props to Kenneth, who doth rule.)

And now ... a blogging tangent

So I'm thinking of switching to Haloscan to manage my comments.

You know. Because I get so many.

But I have questions, and unlike The Decider in Chief, I'm not afraid to ask them. And here's where I look to you, Dear Reader, for input.

Feel free to geek out on me as necessary. Here we go:

1. Why would I want to choose Haloscan for comments rather than Blogger's thingy?
2. Is it hard to install or whatever?
3. Am I going to lose the few remaining Blogger comments that I do have if I make the switch and stuff?
4. Is there anything else I need to know before committing to this?

Thanks ever so. Love ya, mean it.

Bend and snap THIS.

First, the world of theatre blasphemed against me and created High Fidelity: The Musical.

And now this:

After a pair of hit movies, beloved blonde Elle Woods is getting ready to step into the spotlight at Broadway's Palace Theatre. A new musical version of Legally Blonde begins performances in April 2007, and everyone's talking about how this overachieving fashionista will work her magic on the stage. After all, when you've been president of Delta Nu sorority and a Hawaiian Tropic girl, conquering Harvard Law—and the Great White Way—should be a cinch.

What's next? The musical version of Little Man?

A Cosby Sweater It Ain't

Instead, it looks like a $30 Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt:

They've gone and turned High Fidelity into a musical.

Top Five Reasons why this is a bad idea:

5. Like Otto Man says, "Why not write a musical about the Common Cat?"

4. The book, from what I remember, was angsty and cynical. The movie did a great job of conveying this. The New York Times review of the stage version says otherwise.

3. Nobody can top Jack Black's performance in the movie version.

2. I don't care how good an actor you are, you cannot convey the snark and air of superiority that Rob and his buddies embody while projecting and gesturing and working it on stage. See #1.

1. High Fidelity and Jazz Hands do not mix.



(Photo credit: Sara Krulwich/The New York Times)

This Charming Man

To all my fellow Project Runway aficionados:

Are you sitting down?

I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it.

Tim Gunn may not return for the next season.

His responsibilities as chair of the fashion design department at New York City's Parsons school, where Gunn, 53, has worked for 23 years, make him unavailable for filming during the academic year.

Lawd, help me please, I hope he finds a way to make it work, because the show would totally suck without him.

Heaven Knows They're Miserable Now

Certain members of the House are complaining about the newly proposed five-day work week.

I know. I'm as shocked as you are. But not as shocked as this guy:

"Keeping us up here eats away at families," said Rep. Jack Kingston (R-Ga.), who typically flies home on Thursdays and returns to Washington on Tuesdays. "Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families -- that's what this says."

Right. This fool apparently only works three days a week.

Say something like that to people like my dad, who had to work three jobs to put me through college and see if you'll find a sympathetic ear.

Wolfgang's Vault

Dude. This is the coolest thing. Evar.

Concert Vault is a virtual shrine to legendary concert promoter Bill Graham and opens up the Bill Graham Presents archives to share with The Great Unwashed.

Go to Concert Vault, register, and listen to recordings from past BGP concerts, including Bob Marley and the Wailers, Echo and the Bunnymen, The Who, Steppenwolf, David Bowie, etc. Concert recordings, people. Each listing also gives you the play list, musicians that played that night, and puts the concert in context within the career/lifespan of the band.

Wolfgang's Vault also contains old poster art, laminates, backstage passes, and vintage t-shirts.

Freakin' awesome, I know.

Thank me later.



(Props to Brion for the tip. He's just a *little* cooler than I. Just slightly.)

Update your Buddy Lists!

Larry "LCOR102 or Palisade199" Corrigan, director of operations and budget for various Republican campaigns, has just been arrested for hitting up underage girls on the Internets:

"The suspect was communicating online with someone whom he believed was a 13 year old girl." said Debra Brown with the Seattle Police Department. "In fact, that person was a detective from our Internet Crimes Against Children unit."

Seattle police say Corrigan used the AOL screen name LCOR102 to chat with the fictitious 13-year-old girl. Court documents say he bragged he'd already "had sex with a 14-year-old girl from Kansas."

I bet you a carne asada burrito that some wingnut right-wing blogger will say something along the lines of, "eww, that's gross, but hey, at least he wasn't hitting up on underage boys."

(Link courtesy of Bring It On!)

Wednesday Morning Insomnia Blogging

I don't know why I can't sleep tonight. Maybe it's this leg cramp, or maybe I'm still hyped up from my dinner with some old colleagues.

Speaking of old colleagues, apparently BofA has merged with MBNA in order to strengthen their hold on the credit card industry. Guess they hadn't yet gotten over their mergerlust. I'm so outta the loop. Anyway.

As some of you know, I worked at BofA many years ago and was there during the "merger of equals" with NationsBank. And while I thought having a free checking account was a pretty cool benefit, I cannot say that, as an employee, I was as thoroughly (ahem) engaged as these guys are. Have you heard about this already? Watch it:



That's Jim Du Bois, consumer market executive, Manhattan and Ethan Chandler, a banking center manager in Manhattan.

Gag. Seriously. G-A-G. Now their brown-nosing is all up on the Internet, in all its stank-ass glory. Congratulations, guys. Y'all need to be beaten with your own shoes. For real.

I'm transcribing the lyrics here [with commentary, of course] for posterity, in case this video gets pulled off YouTube in the morning. I'm groaning as I type this, by the way. Such is my love for you, my pretties. Recognize.

It is even better now that we're the same
To great companies come together
Now MBNA is BofA
And it's one bank, one card, one name that's known all over the world
One spirit, we get to share it
Leading us all to higher standards

Do you like the Cowboys? Or your university?
Do you like the Yankees? Or is NASCAR more your speed?
Well it's your choice, your right
To pick a card that shows your heart and your pride
We're one with affinity
And we'll carry each other, carry each other

Have you come to meet Bruce Hammonds [who ????]
Have you come to meet Liam McGee? [He's still there????]
Have you heard about Michelle Shepard, she's leading the team in the Northeast [shout out!]
And we've got Bank One on the run
What's in your wallet? It's not Capital One
It's us, so which card are you?
Integration's never had us feeling so good

And we'll make lots of money forever I can sing
About trusting and teamwork and doing the right thing [gotta throw in those core values!!]
We'll live out our core values [see!!!] while the competition crawls
'Cause they want what we have got
But it's only here at Bank of America

Etc. Etc. You get the drift.

Apparently they got a standing O for this.

I'm not the only one who's not amused. Apparently Universal Music Group is getting their "cease and desist" on:

"It has come to Universal's attention that Bank of America, N.A. (“BA”) has created a derivative work of the Composition to promote BA’s business and, in connection therewith, BA has publicly performed, synchronized, reproduced and distributed the Composition during BA business meetings and in timed relation with a video that is available to the public on at least two (2) Internet Web Sites..."

I wonder if this musical trainwreck, if you will, can be considered a parody, and therefore protected speech under the First Amendment. Although, I can see Universal's point. Whatever.

Too bad you can't bust a "cease and desist" order on some corny ass mofos.

Sidebar: Somewhere out there, Bono's ego is getting stroked. Or flagellated. You decide.

They're bringing skankyback

I admit it. I'm a sucker for the celebrity gossip. I buy US Weekly, dammit.

And if you're anything like me, you're sitting there in profound and utter incredulousness that Paris Hilton is now being used as a PR device to reinvigorate sagging careers. Case in point: Britney Spears, who's been seen around town lately cavorting with America's favorite socialite. Like they're best friends all of a sudden.

I don't get it either. Britney apparently "looks up to" Paris Hilton. Um, WHAT?

A Socialite's Life sums it up beautifully:

I pray pray pray this is but the latest stage in some bored hoax that the Three Skanks of the Apocalypse have concocted to fight off ennui.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Britney. Honey. What the hell? Do you do everything your publicist tells you to?

For the record ...

... this just might be my favorite scene from High Fidelity.



That is all.

Everybody wants a record deal

Oh Jah, please make him stop [emphasis mine]:

A source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "Tom's got a great voice. And he loves that song ever since his Top Gun character Maverick sang it to woo his love interest Kelly McGillis. Katie proved how talented she is musically when she performed in The Singing Detective remake." Tom's vocal talents did not go unnoticed by several music producers who attended his wedding, and the couple have apparently been offered staggering sums to sign an exclusive record deal.

Tom Cruise is corny enough, but now it looks like I'm gonna have to bust out my list of actors/models/whatever-turned-singers-turned-actors in order to prove my point. Here's my "Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job" list:

• J. Lo
• Jamie Foxx (although his album was OK)
• Eddie Murphy
• Lindsay Lohan
• Paris Hilton
• Joey "Whoah!" Lawrence
• Steven Segal
• David Hasslehoff
• Shaquille O'Neal
• Joe Pesci
• Jennifer Love Hugetits
• Corky
  

All I'm saying is that very few can pull this off, Tom and Kat(i)e. Very. Few. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Is there anyone I'm missing?

(With inspiration from A Socialite's Life.)

"Liberalism is a mental disorder."

That's what I saw on a super-sized bumper sticker this afternoon on my way to a Thanksgiving party in Santa Rosa.

I didn't get a good look at the guy driving the car (actually, it was a beat-up truck, but who am I to judge?), but please believe I would have given him my wrathful eye had we made eye contact.

Why the namecalling? Why the insults? I don't necessarily agree with right-wing politics, and I absolutely detest their successful attempts at perverting an innocent term to describe a political ideology --- an ideology that is rooted in individual freedom, oh by the way (as if this is a bad thing!) --- into something that connotes stupidity, naiivete, or insanity. Cannot. Stand. It.

Fucking irresponsible. Why not just agree to disagree, for fuck's sake? Now you've gone ahead and given stupid people who can't think for themselves something to latch on to. Brilliant.

Anyway. Whatever.

Let's all go to our happy place now, shall we?




(YouTube link courtesy of someone.)

Giving Thanks

Much of what I'm grateful for hasn't changed since my Thanksgiving post from last year. I'm still the same wacky, nerdy, thoughtful, sensitive, and loving person (to my detriment, sometimes) that I've always been. And I'm still grateful for my family, friends, happiness and health. Oh yeah, and for the fact that the Dems took control of Congress finally this year.

My only wish for all you 30-60 people, you loyal and ardent supporters of G-list blogs, who come to my blog each day (some of you are STILL searching for that Damien Marley song!) is that you let the people you care about know that you are thankful for their presence.

It's nice to know that every once in a while.

Be well, everyone, and have a great Thanksgiving.

Now, get your grub on. You know I will.