Wednesday Morning Insomnia Blogging

I don't know why I can't sleep tonight. Maybe it's this leg cramp, or maybe I'm still hyped up from my dinner with some old colleagues.

Speaking of old colleagues, apparently BofA has merged with MBNA in order to strengthen their hold on the credit card industry. Guess they hadn't yet gotten over their mergerlust. I'm so outta the loop. Anyway.

As some of you know, I worked at BofA many years ago and was there during the "merger of equals" with NationsBank. And while I thought having a free checking account was a pretty cool benefit, I cannot say that, as an employee, I was as thoroughly (ahem) engaged as these guys are. Have you heard about this already? Watch it:



That's Jim Du Bois, consumer market executive, Manhattan and Ethan Chandler, a banking center manager in Manhattan.

Gag. Seriously. G-A-G. Now their brown-nosing is all up on the Internet, in all its stank-ass glory. Congratulations, guys. Y'all need to be beaten with your own shoes. For real.

I'm transcribing the lyrics here [with commentary, of course] for posterity, in case this video gets pulled off YouTube in the morning. I'm groaning as I type this, by the way. Such is my love for you, my pretties. Recognize.

It is even better now that we're the same
To great companies come together
Now MBNA is BofA
And it's one bank, one card, one name that's known all over the world
One spirit, we get to share it
Leading us all to higher standards

Do you like the Cowboys? Or your university?
Do you like the Yankees? Or is NASCAR more your speed?
Well it's your choice, your right
To pick a card that shows your heart and your pride
We're one with affinity
And we'll carry each other, carry each other

Have you come to meet Bruce Hammonds [who ????]
Have you come to meet Liam McGee? [He's still there????]
Have you heard about Michelle Shepard, she's leading the team in the Northeast [shout out!]
And we've got Bank One on the run
What's in your wallet? It's not Capital One
It's us, so which card are you?
Integration's never had us feeling so good

And we'll make lots of money forever I can sing
About trusting and teamwork and doing the right thing [gotta throw in those core values!!]
We'll live out our core values [see!!!] while the competition crawls
'Cause they want what we have got
But it's only here at Bank of America

Etc. Etc. You get the drift.

Apparently they got a standing O for this.

I'm not the only one who's not amused. Apparently Universal Music Group is getting their "cease and desist" on:

"It has come to Universal's attention that Bank of America, N.A. (“BA”) has created a derivative work of the Composition to promote BA’s business and, in connection therewith, BA has publicly performed, synchronized, reproduced and distributed the Composition during BA business meetings and in timed relation with a video that is available to the public on at least two (2) Internet Web Sites..."

I wonder if this musical trainwreck, if you will, can be considered a parody, and therefore protected speech under the First Amendment. Although, I can see Universal's point. Whatever.

Too bad you can't bust a "cease and desist" order on some corny ass mofos.

Sidebar: Somewhere out there, Bono's ego is getting stroked. Or flagellated. You decide.