Project Runway After Party

Episode 7: On Thin Ice
In this week's episode, our lovely Project Runway contestants were told that they'll each get a USPS package the next morning, so our designers go back to the Atlas and wait. And wonder what the hell they're going to be asked to do next.

Okay, how come Andrae has a picture of himself on his night stand?

Project Runway Veteran Robert, dressed as a US postal worker, personally delivered some packages, one for each contestant. Leave it to Project Runway to find a reason to bring back the hot beefcake dude from last season.

Heh heh. Each of them got some nasty figure skating uniform to wear. Out. In public.

Poor Emmett. His outfit, a fuschia blouson top and tight black pants looked - as Nick put it - "like International Male gone g-g-g-g-gay." Even with his trademark white hat, he still looked the fool. Foreshadow, much?

The point of all this is that our contestants are now tasked to design an outfit/costume/dress/leotard (what the hell do you call these things?) for an ice skater. So who are they designing for? Sasha Cohen. I don't even know who she is. Some famous ice skater. I dunno. My knowledge of figure skaters pretty much ends with Kristi Yamaguchi (Bay Area, represent!). Anyway, so Sasha takes some time out of her twirling to give our designers a mini ice-skating lesson. This was a pretty good exercise, actually, because it brought everyone back to the same level - they all looked pretty clumsy and dorky on the ice, and they were able to forget about the competition for a minute.

They get two days and $150 to create the ice skating dress. And they can't change their clothing to go to the store to buy their fabric and supplies.

Of course in NYC, this looks perfectly normal.

Uh oh, Zulema admits she's never used sequins or trims before. Yikes! And Santino must have been in trims and notions heaven. Come to think about it, Santino's lingerie from Episode 4 would have been perfect here. Maybe.

The "overlock machine," a sewing machine designed specifically to stitch stretch fabric, breaks. Andrae takes it upon himself to take on the role of technical support and fixes the machine while everyone else works on their garments. This leaves him behind schedule. Man, I hope he doesn't cry on the runway again.

And we have our first bitchy comment from Daniel V! When Tim comes to review Kara's design, Daniel's observation was that it was very basic - and not "Calvin Klein basic, but more like JC Penney basic."

Rowr!

On Day 2, the overlock machine breaks again. This time, the needle breaks in half. Chloe blames it on the machine, while Andrae blames it on the person who touches the machine as being "the only variable."

So everyone has to hand-sew their leotards. And Santino anticipates what Michael Kors is going to say about his outfit, and how it looks like a baboons ass. And yet when it comes to the final fitting, what does he do? Adds more bullshit. Even his model was like, "Um, this is too much now."

And when your human mannequin starts to get an opinion, that's a sign you better slow your roll with the trims. I'm just saying, Santino.

On the runway, I think Nick's design was the best, Chloe's was very nice too, with the turqoise layers of chiffon. Zulema's creation, a swirly concoction at once sexy and provocative yet still demure, was the judges' favorite. She wins the challenge.

Santino's "phoenix from the flame" had some nice aspects from the waist up, but it was described as "Carmen Miranda on acid." The key argument from Michael Kors is that Santino, despite all his designs and creativity, fails to see the woman he's designing for.

Emmett's design was described as being too "vulgar" because it showed too much vag. Plus it was also described as "dowdy," and not any different from the typical ice skating dresses you've already seen on TV.

I am at the point where I like every designer. I'll be sad to see any one leave from here on out. Unfortunately, this time Emmett gets Heidi's auf wiedersehen. She said his design was "stale." Ouch!

Emmett manages to leave on a funny note, asking the judges if it was the fuschia shirt that was his downfall. Oh, Emmett, I'll miss you.




I think next week's episode looks like it's going to be drama filled. I think Zulema's gonna steal Nick's model. Oh SNAP! And it looks like Jay, the winner from last season's Project Runway, is going to be the guest judge. Yay!