Feel the bloat

Bank of America to Buy MBNA in $35 Billion Deal

I worked for BofA for almost ten years, and lived through the merger with NationsBank. Left the bank in 2001 to go to grad school. Since then, BofA has gotten OH SO big. Largest credit card issuer in the United States. The fourth most profitable company in the world. Scary.

Oh, and P.S., 6,000 working stiffs are going to lose their jobs over this.

My, how you've grown.

He must be stopped!

In my quest to rid this world of all that is evil, I urge you to sign this petition. Because, as my friend Erica so aptly puts it, Tom Cruise is a freak. Heh.

(disclaimer: text appears as is on the petition; I am not responsible for any typos or grammatical errors or anything that would glaringly fly in the face of my intelligence. smirk.)

Dear Mr. Spielberg,

We, the undersigned, wish to inform you that we are compelled to boycott your movie “War of the Worlds.” Our decision is based solely on the abhorrent behavior of Mr. Tom Cruise. We will not be spending our good money to support the ridiculous and potentially dangerous antics of this raving narcissist. Mr. Cruise’s actions and comments have been offensive and insulting when not downright laughable.

• We do not want to hear Mr. Cruise’s uneducated and unsubstantiated opinions on medicine and Psychiatry. His mean-spirited decision to use Brooke Shields as an example was unforgivable. The potential impact on those in need of treatment, who might heed the advice of a ‘celebrity’ over a trained professional, is dangerous. If Mr. Cruise believes that vitamins can cure mental illness, then perhaps he should consider increasing his dosage.
• We do not want to be enlightened about Mr. Cruise's ‘religion’ of Scientology. If he is so concerned about mind control, he should not be part of an organization that seems to use this tactic as its Modus Operandi. Mr. Spielberg, was the fully staffed Scientology tent you allowed Mr. Cruise to have on the movie set placed right next to the Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, and Muslim tents? Didn’t think so.
• We are sick of being force-fed his relationship with Katie Holmes which, if it isn’t the publicity hoax it appears to be, is a pathetic, juvenile, attention mongering display. Tom’s obvious control of his Stepford-Wife-To-Be is frightening.
• We do not want to watch his ‘out of control’ yet suspiciously manipulative antics nor listen to his condescending, holier-than-thou judgments. This man cannot even articulate a coherent sentence. He should stick to reading movie scripts.

It is revealing that the most compelling character Tom Cruise has ever portrayed is “Frank TJ Mackay” from Magnolia, a control-freak with a pathological need to assert his obsession over not just those around him, but the public as well, by exploiting his access to public media. Apparently Mr. Cruise was playing himself.

Perhaps he views the aliens he battles in War of the worlds as a metaphor for the aliens he and his Scientology friends believe inhabit we humans. Relax Tom, it’s just a movie. A movie we will not be paying to see.

Sincerely,
The Undersigned

Ad nauseum

Do I really have to tell you what I think about Dubya's speech last night? I didn't watch it, but I'm reading about it right now.

Does he really expect me to believe that the American casualties in Iraq are "worth it"?

Does he think we can't see through the exploitativeness of all his 9/11 invoking?

And all these stories permeating the MSM - the missing blonde, white, pretty girl in Aruba, the bug-eyed runaway bride, shark attacks, raging pitbulls, etc. etc. etc. are supposed make us forget that our soldiers are still stuck in Iraq with no viable exit strategery.

Ugh. I can't stand it anymore. I don't even know what else to say.

UPDATE 6/30: How come nobody told me I spelled "nauseum" wrong?

Why I love Zeitgeist.

1. We found rock star parking, quickstyle at this bar.
   
2. Cute bike messenger guys.
3. Informal as all hell.
4. No yuppies.
5. $2.50 Pabst.
6. Bartenders with delicious attitude.
7. Kickass jukebox.
8. Clean bathrooms (at least, during happy hour).
9. Tamale Lady.
10. The "BBQ-at-a-friend's-backyard" atmosphere.
11. $2.50 Pabst.
12. The woman passing out beads with fuschia hair.
13. All the interesting crap they have on the walls, especially the "Wet Pain" sign behind the bar.
14. Hanging bike rack in the back.
15. Live mariachi.
16. That girl who gave me a free cigarette, even if I told her I'd give her a quarter for it.
    

To quote Drew @ Scamboogah/SFist: Liver ... out!

Tom Cruise is wack.

And here's proof. Courtesy of the folks at Suckful.

Okay, it's not really "proof." But it's hilarious as shit. Enjoy.

Tag, you're it.

Drew at Scamboogah! tagged me. He just sent me this questionnaire that has been going around and around and around. Kind of like a chain letter. But not. Anyway, wanna know more about me? Here goes:

1. What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?

• Ever sleep with someone you regret? Ever relive the embarassment and shame years later? Well, I dated this one guy who, even three years later, makes me say “doh!” And girrrrrrrrrl, the shame is painful!
• Having that fight with Andy back in high school. We’d probably be married right now if I wasn’t such a nerd.
• Quitting the swim team in high school after the first day of practice. (Note: I really don’t obsess this much over high school. Seriously.)

2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?
My dad. He overcame a traumatic brain injury last year and his recovery has been amazing. You wouldn’t even know anything had happened to him if you looked at him. His tenaciousness, his refusal to give in, and his absolute determination to get better has touched me more than anyone will ever know. I admire this man so much. I still get choked up just thinking about it.

3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?
Margaret Cho, my friend Dan, Rick James (bitch!), Jesus, and Hiltler (he's SO HOT right now!).

4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

• Some ugly, incontrovertible, un-spinnable sex scandal for the Triple-D team: Dubya, Dick, and Doughboy. Watch closely as people all over Jesusland wake up and smell the coffee.
• Being able to afford a house in the SF Bay Area.
• Finding a man that's not afraid to refer to me as “my girlfriend.” And actually meaning it.

5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.
I’m just going to say San Francisco, because I was born there. People don’t come to “visit” where I live now.

I regret that SF has horrible parking. Not everyone can parallel park. And I hate to hear people bitch and moan about how there’s no parking in the City. I also regret that SF rents are too high for me to afford, because now I’m totally over my “I want to live in the City” phase.

When in SF, people should avoid Fisherman’s Wharf and that general vicinity, and “the Triangle.” Unless you’re into Paris Hilton wannabes. Then by all means. Go there. And stay there.

6. Name one event that has changed your life.
My dad’s injury last year totally changed my life. I seriously think that I’m going through post-traumatic stress or something, because it really rocked my world – and not in a good way. I mean hell, I started to tear up typing out my answer to Question #2. But, the good that came out of the entire thing is that my dad and I are much closer than we were before. And I have such a greater appreciation for life, and my parents, than ever.

7. Tag 5 people.
This outta be interesting.
Mike @ Jones of the Nile
Hoss @ Old Horsetail Snake
Virge @ so far ...
Tamara AND Allie @ T & A
Paul @ The Sun Keeps Rising

Real men of genius

I love these Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" radio spots. Just thought I'd share. They crack my shit up.

Did everyone have a nice weekend?

Baby bunnies

So I was told that one of the bunnies that hang out in my back yard gave birth to four tiny baby bunnies, but that they all died. We think a hawk or an owl or a gremlin killed them. I never actually saw them. R.I.P, baby bunnies.

Apologize or resign

So on the Today show this morning, Dan Barlett (at least I think it was him - it wasn't McClellan) said that what Doughboy (my new nickname for Karl Rove) meant about his comment regarding liberals and 9/11 was that he was targeting liberal extremist groups like MoveOn.org.

Bullshit. Just utter bullshit. I can't even believe he can say this with a straight face on TV and not want to shoot himself for selling out to the Devil incarnate and the Architect. I swear to Jah, I can't stand Rove's fat, pasty, no chin having, permasmirk face for much longer. I mean, if we're going to blame anyone for Dubya being in office today, it's Rove. He knows how to push narrow-minded, ultraconservative people's buttons and get them mobilized. But listen here, Doughboy: By doing that, the Republican party becomes forever inextricably linked to these crazy radical rightists, making you, Doughboy, and everyone else you work with, their bitches.

Unless you enjoy that sort of thing.

And a word of advice to the Democrats out there: Don't be comparing shit to Hitler anymore, okay? It just makes you look insane and adds fuel to the fire, mmmkay? They're not smart enough to make the connection with that analogy, and they're just going to lash out at you like a baby who just got his pacifier yanked out of his mouth.

Top 100 U.S. Movie Quotes

Okay, so the American Film Institute put up this list of top 100 quotes from U.S. movies with film title and year of release. Check it out here.

As always happens with lists-of-all-time, they always manage to leave out the really good stuff. For example - take this line - my favorite - from Heathers:

"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw!"

But I guess that's not exactly tame enough for the AFI. Whatever. Schmucks.

A shout out to BYO for the link..

Yo momma!

I'm so glad Dean spoke up in response to Dick "Go Fuck Yourself" Cheney's remark on Hannity & Colmes:

"I've never been able to understand his appeal. Maybe his mother loved him, but I've never met anybody who does. He's never won anything, as best I can tell."

So Dean says:

''But we gotta be there and fight in order to do it. And believe me, we are going to fight back. I don't care if Dick Cheney likes my mother or not. We are going to fight back."

This is why I love me some Dean. I was very much a Deaniac during the primaries, and was very heartbroken when he pulled out of the race. Personalitywise, he's much more vibrant than Kerry, he's not afraid to speak his mind, and something about his background in science just gave me such confidence in his ability to be objective, to recognize when the data doesn't back up your hypoetheses (so to speak) and make changes based on that, etc. (Unlike some people we know who never back down from their position even though there is mounting evidence that their position is the wrong one. I don't think I need to name names here.)

Anyway, my love for Howard Dean arose from this Rolling Stone profile on him from 2004. And this quote from Dean - on the subject of stem cell research and Dubya's vehement stance against it - was THE thing that made me support Dean:

"I think his slavish adherence to anti-scientific thinking is costing people their lives and their hopes all over the country."

It's so true. You see examples of this in everything Dubya does.

Aww hell, I don't know if Kerry would have made a better president. But I do think that had Dean been elected, he would have ruffled some feathers - sure - but jeez, I'd like to think we'd be in such a better place than we are today.

I'm so money, and I don't even know it.

Charles


Which Character from Swingers are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

A/S/L?

I once wrote about Spokane Mayor James West and how it was found that he used government computers to cruise for hot young gay booty to get his groove on and then offer them internships.

Now West is all up in arms because he says his right to privacy had been violated. Waah. Steve "The Eugster" Eugster, some lawyer and former councilmember in Spokane, is throwing terms around like "entrapment" and "violation of privacy." Waah.

Now look Jim, here's the thing.

1. Conversations you have on chat are not private. Your chat recipient could save the text of your conversation and send it to Jah knows who. I've done it. People I know do it. We all do it. And if one of your young, nubile gay.com boys find out they're chatting with the MAYOR, best believe they'll do it too. ("Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl, you won't believe who I'm chatting with!")

2. If you are on a pay-in ISP such as AOL (full disclosure: I am a subscriber, don't judge me), not only is there no reasonable expectation of privacy, but your speech while on the ISP does not enjoy any First Amendment protection. You buy into the service, you abide by their rules, they have you by the nuts. Basically.

It's amusing how they're crying "invasion of privacy," and "entrapment," and how Jim West is being victimized.

"Brutally outed"? Sure. But: What we have here is a closeted gay public official who a) is part of the Republican party (like that's not cognitive dissonance in and of itself), and b) has voted for the Defense of Marriage Act. Basically, the hypocrite is getting what he deserves.

Countdown to July 17

Did I mention that I'm doing the AIDS Walk this year?

Thanks to everyone who has sponsored me already. It means the world to me. I appreciate it so much.

When Congress Attacks ... the Internet

That fucko Santorum's (R-PA) at it again. He introduced a bill - HR 2726 - that opens the door to more and more influence from the private sector on what media we - as supposedly "free" Americans - get access to to read, form ideas --- you know...that whole "marketplace of ideas" thing.

According to this article from the Palm Beach Post:

The bill, introduced last week by Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., would prohibit federal meteorologists from competing with companies such as AccuWeather and The Weather Channel, which offer their own forecasts through paid services and free ad-supported Web sites.

Supporters say the bill wouldn't hamper the weather service or the National Hurricane Center from alerting the public to hazards — in fact, it exempts forecasts meant to protect "life and property."

But critics say the bill's wording is so vague they can't tell exactly what it would ban.

This utter bullshit bill just reminds me of this paper I wrote back in grad school about public journalism and how the Chinese government banned all websites that were critical of the government, like the Falun Gong.

The Great Red Firewall, as its called, exists solely to stifle and discourage any type of forum for "free information and discussion."

I mean, if Santorum's bill passes, the Internet as we know it will become sanitized, filtered, bland, non-confrontational. Sure, maybe we'd have to pay for an AccuWeather forecast because of this bill, but who's to say that they won't try to extend this ban to libraries who offer free internet access to people who can't afford it? Or ban websites overly critical of this current administration (I can think of a couple of blogs that fit into this category)? Based on how this administration loves to fudge data and overutilize PR to the max, the idea isn't all that far fetched.

At least to me. Maybe I'm making this a bigger issue, and at its essence it's about big business given free reign over our lives with the Republicans as the evil enablers.

Either way, it's got to fucking stop already. Leave media alone. A democratic society needs a free marketplace of ideas and a place for discourse. Stop fucking with it. That's my message to Rick Santorum and everyone else in the legislature who continues to be an accomplice to the most non-transparent administration in history.

Tom's post at Who Hijacked Our Country is responsible for getting me all riled up. As a journalism-school graduate, media issues really get me excited. Excited enough to sign this petition.

Please, check out Tom's post. I hope it gets you riled up enough to take some action too.

Again, have a great weekend, everybody.

Moran!

So I just got home after watching Margaret Cho at the Davies Symphony Hall. Oh. My. God. Fucking hilarious. I love her. I laughed so much, my cheeks hurt.

I haven't been posting much lately (you know, in case any of you noticed), because I have been working my ass off this week. Got a huge company meeting I'm coordinating for next week, so well, you know how that goes.

Anyway. Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.

... And all was right with the world, part deux.

Scaramouche is back. And I am as happy as a little girl.

Check out that palm tree hammock. FYI, my birthday is coming up soon. Okay, in December. Start saving now.

My own private media revolution

So KRON ran the story on the Bay Area Bloggers meet-up. I'm on for like, a millisecond, but I totally think I'm like, this big local celebrity now. Just kidding. No paparazzi. Please. Okay, maybe just a few.

See if you can find me standing next to Ang and J from Suckful. Can you see me? I look so enthralled.

Here's the story they did on it. And the video link.

Thanks to Ang for the heads up.

UPDATE: Reading this back, I didn't realize how being on tv for like 0.3920 seconds could stir up my inner Valley Girl like that. I'm like, so sorry. I *do* have a master's degree. I just don't act like I do. Sometimes.

2005 AIDS Walk San Francisco

On Sunday, July 17, I'll be doing the AIDS Walk. It's a fun six-mile walk, and participants get tons of freebies, cool t-shirts, and - more important - a sense of gratification knowing that they did their part to fight against this horrible disease. Oh yeah, and it's great exercise. And Jah knows I need it.

More and more people we know are becoming infected with this disease every day. And I know more and more people have lost close friends and family to this epidemic. I urge you to do your part and walk with us.

I'm also collecting sponsorships. If you'd like to sponsor me (any amount counts!), go here.

If you don't want to donate money, foot rubs are also acceptable. Heh heh.

Impeachment Now!

Yet another reason why Not-My-President needs to be impeached, courtesy of The London Times Online (UK) [emphasis mine]:

Ministers were warned in July 2002 that Britain was committed to taking part in an American-led invasion of Iraq and they had no choice but to find a way of making it legal.

The warning, in a leaked Cabinet Office briefing paper, said Tony Blair had already agreed to back military action to get rid of Saddam Hussein at a summit at the Texas ranch of President George W. Bush three months earlier.

The briefing paper, for participants at a meeting of Blair's inner circle on July 23, 2002, said that since regime change was illegal it was "necessary to create the conditions" which would make it legal.

This was required because, even if ministers decided Britain should not take part in an invasion, the American military would be using British bases. This would automatically make Britain complicit in any illegal US action.

The briefing paper is here. In it, it mentions that the US plan to invade Iraq "lack[ed] a political framework." What I found most striking from this briefing paper was that even the UK didn't believe Bush's reason (that Iraq had WMDs) was sufficient to wage war on that country:

Our objective should be a stable and law-abiding Iraq, within present borders, co-operating with the international community, no longer posing a threat to its neighbours or to international security, and abiding by its international obligations on WMD. It seems unlikely that this could be achieved while the current Iraqi regime remains in power. US military planning unambiguously takes as its objective the removal of Saddam Hussein's regime, followed by elimination if Iraqi WMD. It is however, by no means certain, in the view of UK officials, that one would necessarily follow from the other. Even if regime change is a necessary condition for controlling Iraqi WMD, it is certainly not a sufficient one. [Emphasis mine.]

Here's another interesting tidbit from the article:

There has been a growing storm of protest in America, created by last month's publication of the minutes in The Sunday Times. A host of citizens, including many internet bloggers, have demanded to know why the Downing Street memo (often shortened to "the DSM" on websited) has been largely ignored by the US mainstream media.

Oh my. I'm loving the nice shout out. It is my hope that with a combination of foreign media coverage of Bush's Big Lie and citizen's media (my new favorite term for "blog"), this could be the impetus for impeachment that I have been waiting for. Since our country's own MSM can't generate the heat, leave it up to a host of international reporters and a good number of Americans that have already woken up to smell the ol' proverbial cup of coffee.

Clinton was impeached for having an inappropriate relationship with an intern. Not-My-President needs to be impeached for lying to the American public, causing many of them to lose their precious lives in the spirit of patriotism and duty to one's country. Bush has callously used their lives as a pawn in his game of whatever the hell it is he's trying to accomplish by turning the entire country - hell, the entire planet - on its ear. We are reviled overseas, and Bush and his corrupt-ass cohorts are singlehandedly responsible for this. It's time to get the incompetency OUT of the White House.

Bloggers of the world, unite and take over

So I went to this blogger meet-up at KRON-TV here in SF with my friend Angie of Ang's Weird Ideas. To my estimate, about 50 bay area bloggers showed up. Jakob from Suckful was there too, cracking me up every second. I also ran into Efren and Howard, two guys from hip-hop aerobics classes past. Gotta love it. It was a chance for bay area bloggers to meet, mingle, take (lots) of pictures, battle over megapixels, eat finger sandwiches, and pimp our respective blogs.

I think KRON is trying to forge a relationship between citizen media and all that. All I know is I scored a free t-shirt out of it, and scoped out a few hot, nerdy dudes. What can be better than that, really?

Not your usual SVP

In case anyone of you fine people noticed, I haven't been posting lately because I was serving on a jury this past week. This is the second time I've served on a jury, and I have to say that for a civil case, it was quite interesting.

We the jurors were given a task to determine whether Ava Zinlu meets the criteria put forth by the California sexually violent predator statute. You can read the details about the case here, as it has just been published in the local paper.

(Oh, and let me take this opportunity to mention that we were in the same courtroom as the Scott Peterson trial. Not that I'm bragging or anything. I just find it an interesting bit of trivia.)

We rendered our decision today, which is why I am now free to discuss the case. We heard testimony after testimony from psychiatrists and psychologists, all testifying as to the emotional state of Mr. Zinlu, and whether or not they think he fits within the SVP criteria. At times the proceedings plodded along, other times the testimony appealed to my inner nerd.

So I come across this article from the Sacramento Bee dated April 6, 2004. (For legal reasons, I have to state that I found this article AFTER the case was finished. So there.) Here are some little-known facts (by me) about the CA SVP statute:

• California's unique version of the statute gives these people a recurring chance (every two years) to exit the program without having received any treatment.
• The burden of proof is on the state, not on the SVP.
• Of the 367 ex-convicts in CA's SVP program, more than 60% refuse any therapy.
• Staff can't force those committed to participate in therapy.

California's two-year "re-try" rule costs the state some big money. The psychiatric evaluations for SVPs cost $2,500, and each patient enrolled in the SVP program costs $110,000 a year. The Governator had the opportunity to close this two-year loophole by a budget amendment introduced April 1. And since this article was written in 2004, I don't know if this loophole has been closed. But judging by the California website link above, it hasn't been. The two-year rule still appears.

So here I am, feeling good that I was part of the decision-making process to keep this guy off the streets, only to find that in two years, he's up for re-evaluation again. The first time this went to trial, the jury was split, and there was a mistrial. Today, we managed to keep this guy in a state hospital.

I'm going to drop the Governator an email telling him what I think of this stupid two-year loophole and persuade him to close it, if he hasn't already. Want to join me? Here's the link.

The Bush Press Conference Response Generator

This is funny as all hell. You type in a question to Mr. Not-My-President, and up comes a pithy response that only Dubya can come up with. Check it out.

Courtesy of Morford and his latest column about why Bush is not a man, but a child pretending to be president. Read his latest column too. It's a great one.

Have a great weekend, everybody.

Operation Shame In Your Game

So Oakland's City Council President, Ignacio De La Fuente, wants to crack down on prostitution by blasting up photos of "johns" on billboards across the city. Check out the article here.

That's crazy. So many issues here. How about invasion of privacy? Does that even apply?

"This is your last and final warning," said De La Fuente, standing beneath a 10-foot-by-22-foot billboard on International Boulevard featuring the pictures of four men — obscured so they are not identifiable — arrested last month in a sting operation.

Although De La Fuente initially vowed to post the unaltered pictures of men arrested for solicitation in an attempt to shame other "johns," he said concerns about the harm it could cause innocent family members prompted him to rethink his plan and delay it for several months.

Five billboards, in East Oakland and the Fruitvale district, ask "How much clearer do we have to make it? Don't 'john' in Oakland."

I mean, don't get me wrong, I admire him for trying to improve the city and all that, but humiliation tactics?

Thanks to Carl (not a "john") for the link.

Here come da judge ...

So I'm in Day 3 of Jury Duty hell. It's Day 3, but Day 1 of actual trial time. Of course, I'm not at liberty to discuss the case, yadda yadda. But I've already made $30 off these suckas. I know you're jealous, beeotches.

Stupid SUVs and the companies that make them. And the governments that enable them. And so on.

My lovely and dear cousin just about broke my heart the other day when she told me that she was planning on getting an SUV.

"Planet killer," I called her.

But my admonitions fell on deaf ears. Since she's just learning how to drive on the freeway, an SUV makes her feel safer. Because it's higher up off the ground, she can see everything, blah blah blah.

I tried to use the whole "okay, well if you want to spend $94205942098 dollars on gas, be my guest" tactic. Nada.

So when I started to read the recent Morford op-ed piece that mentions how sales of SUVs are down nearly 20 percent for the year, you can understand that I was feeling as happy as a little girl. Great, some headway, I thought.

But then.

Further on, Morford breaks it down for us - and I guess I knew this all along because I'm cynical anyway, but hearing it from someone else reminds me that I'm not completely crazy. SUV sales are in decline, not because everyone is switching over to hybrids because of some widespread, planet lovin' epiphany.

No. It's because gas prices are still uberhigh. Some people don't care about anything until it directly affects either their a) wallets, b) jobs, or c) immediate members of their family.

Morford says it best:

It's all real simple: When resources are cheap and plentiful, we gorge, we indulge, we stop caring. About repercussions, about the environmental, socioeconomic, spiritual or karmic costs of our behavior. Ditto the CEOs, the corporations that feed our gluttony -- they go for profit uber alles, even if it means massive economic abuse, backhanded politicking or war. It's just the way of the species.

However, when resources get scarce and expensive, we pay attention. We get scared. For our wallets. For our excessive habits. This is America, beeyatch: Fear and money are the only things that really trigger us. We respond only to crisis, change our behavior only when absolutely forced to, or because the GOP has pumped the nation full of bogus fear. Same as it ever was.

And automakers don't care that the products they produce harm our environment, enable our country's dysfunctional relationship with the Middle East, and encourages our shortsighted, greedy, unhealthy dependence on their oil.

They don't care because THEY DON'T HAVE TO.

What can we do? Stop buying the fucking SUVs.

I'll keep working on my cousin.