Jun 30, 2005

He must be stopped!

In my quest to rid this world of all that is evil, I urge you to sign this petition. Because, as my friend Erica so aptly puts it, Tom Cruise is a freak. Heh.

(disclaimer: text appears as is on the petition; I am not responsible for any typos or grammatical errors or anything that would glaringly fly in the face of my intelligence. smirk.)

Dear Mr. Spielberg,

We, the undersigned, wish to inform you that we are compelled to boycott your movie “War of the Worlds.” Our decision is based solely on the abhorrent behavior of Mr. Tom Cruise. We will not be spending our good money to support the ridiculous and potentially dangerous antics of this raving narcissist. Mr. Cruise’s actions and comments have been offensive and insulting when not downright laughable.
  • We do not want to hear Mr. Cruise’s uneducated and unsubstantiated opinions on medicine and Psychiatry. His mean-spirited decision to use Brooke Shields as an example was unforgivable. The potential impact on those in need of treatment, who might heed the advice of a ‘celebrity’ over a trained professional, is dangerous. If Mr. Cruise believes that vitamins can cure mental illness, then perhaps he should consider increasing his dosage.
  • We do not want to be enlightened about Mr. Cruise's ‘religion’ of Scientology. If he is so concerned about mind control, he should not be part of an organization that seems to use this tactic as its Modus Operandi. Mr. Spielberg, was the fully staffed Scientology tent you allowed Mr. Cruise to have on the movie set placed right next to the Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, and Muslim tents? Didn’t think so.
  • We are sick of being force-fed his relationship with Katie Holmes which, if it isn’t the publicity hoax it appears to be, is a pathetic, juvenile, attention mongering display. Tom’s obvious control of his Stepford-Wife-To-Be is frightening.
  • We do not want to watch his ‘out of control’ yet suspiciously manipulative antics nor listen to his condescending, holier-than-thou judgments. This man cannot even articulate a coherent sentence. He should stick to reading movie scripts.

It is revealing that the most compelling character Tom Cruise has ever portrayed is “Frank TJ Mackay” from Magnolia, a control-freak with a pathological need to assert his obsession over not just those around him, but the public as well, by exploiting his access to public media. Apparently Mr. Cruise was playing himself.

Perhaps he views the aliens he battles in War of the worlds as a metaphor for the aliens he and his Scientology friends believe inhabit we humans. Relax Tom, it’s just a movie. A movie we will not be paying to see.


Sincerely,
The Undersigned

3 comments:

Stephen Green said...

I'm trying to figure out how this is different from conservatives who won't go see movies with Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, or Jane Fonda in them, not because of the qualify of the movies or the performances, but because of these peoples' politics.

Stephen Green said...

Sorry, that should have been "quality," not "qualify." But you knew that, right?

Brandon said...

oh, i definitely signed this one ;)