That's a question this woman asks of Salon's Cary Tennis, writer of their "Since You Asked" column.
I'm about 5 years younger than this woman, but damn it if her story doesn't resonate with single women in their 30's:
I've spent most of my 20s and all of my 30s basically alone.Cary's answer? Her "perfectness" is what's turning men off; that this veneer of self sufficiency, success, and worldliness is standing in the way of her finding her mate.
I'm funny, smart, charming and dynamic. I'm complimented almost daily on my looks, so I know I'm not ugly. Oddly, men smile at and flirt with me all of the time at my job, in bars or on the street, but for some reason, they never ask me out. I've tried to take matters into my hands many times and instigate something with them, but they never take the bait. I usually find out later that they have chosen to pursue someone less attractive and much dumber. I've tried everything I could think of to be appealing and attractive to men without seeming lonely and desperate. Nothing. No one I know can figure out why I'm still alone after all these years.
Seriously? So men are attracted to fucked-up, needy, basket cases with pretty faces? Are we supposed to play it so that we can find a man to "save" us?
Damned if you do, damned if you don't ...
And don't even tell me to try that eHarmony mess. Been there, blogged that.