Jul 15, 2005

The backdoor? God won't mind!

Hey girls! Saving yourself for marriage but find it increasingly hard to resist your boyfriend's advances? Well these folks at Sex in Christ (pun intended?) offer the ol' tried n' true: Sodomy! Check it out:

Are you saving yourself for your wedding night? The Devil wants you to fail, that’s why he puts stumbling blocks in your way. But God wants you to succeed, and that’s why he has given us an alternative to intercourse before marriage: anal sex. Through anal sex, you can satisfy your body’s needs, while you avoid the risk of unwanted pregnancy and still keep yourself pure for marriage.

You may be shocked at first by this idea. Isn’t anal sex (sodomy) forbidden by the Bible? Isn’t anal sex dirty? What’s the difference between having anal sex before marriage and having regular intercourse? Let’s address these issues by debunking some myths about anal sex and God's will.

Scared of letting your man up the poopchute? Well, masturbation's okay too:

The subject of masturbation is the cause of much concern and confusion among Christians. Most of us are taught that masturbation is sinful or wrong, and many believe that the Bible actually forbids masturbation. The latter is simply untrue; masturbation is not even mentioned in the Bible. And when we consider the facts, it becomes clear that masturbation is not a sin, but rather a blessing from God that enables us to fully enjoy our bodies and can help us lead a more healthy spiritual life.

Feel free to read on for God's views on threesomes and oral sex. I don't think this website is legitimate, but I just had to share. The biblical quotes cited to prove their points are just SUCH a stretch.

Thanks to Ang, who blogged about this earlier. Have a great weekend, everybody --- God-sanctioned sodomy or no.


Adobo said...

Hey I'm all for this! God did give us sensitive nerve endings right? So if it feels good, damn it use and exploit God's gifts to the fullest! Just remember though, you will probably encounter "Rick Santorum" along the way- The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. (See Mag's "When Congress Attacks ... the Internet" posting for further enlightenment)

Tom Harper said...

I'm assuming that website is tongue-in-cheek. Oops, let me re-word that...

Virge said...

Wait a minute---sodomy and masturbation are ALLOWED? Well, where's the fun in THAT??

jurassicpork said...

I wonder what wonkette would have to say about *this*.