Mel Gibson Snafu Q&A

Baffled by the recent Mel Gibson brouhaha? Me too.

Luckily, the good folks at The Poor Man Institute provide us with an informative Q&A to help us get through this tough time.

Jah bless The Poor Man.

Playing the market, Project Runway style

Look. You already know I love this show. But this just adds another layer of fun to the whole thing:

The folks at Hollywood Stock Exchange have issued shares of "stock" for each of the contestants at $8.00/share. As they get dismissed, the designer's stock is cashed out. Liquidated. Auf'd, if you must.

My instinct tells me that as we find out more about the designers' personalities become and pick our favorites to win, this will be reflected in their stock price. (At least, among nerds like me who would actually track the fictional stock price of a person on a reality show, but I digress.)

But I wonder if the stock price will directly correlate to who wins the show? I mean, will we be able to predict who'll win based on stock price? It'll be interesting to watch this as the season progresses.

Here are my favorites, based on price per share (PPS). I'll leave it to you to calculate ROI and and EPS and all that junk:

Robert Best (PRRBE), $10.53

Alison Kelly (PRAKE), $9.56

Uli Herzner (PRUHE), $9.30

Michael Knight (PRMKN), $8.78

Vincent "I cashed out my 401k for this" Libretti's stock price edges out Angela "Um, it's Angela" Keslar's only by $0.13, which means Angela's stock price, as the lowest at $5.53, would signify to us that she's the next to get The Auf.

We'll see if my theory pans out tomorow ...

Because I care.

Eat your walnuts.

Why running sucks

A runner died during the San Francisco Marathon on Sunday in what appeared to be the first fatality in the event's 29-year history.

William Goggins, 43, of San Francisco, collapsed from apparent heart failure after he passed the 24-mile mark of the 26.2 mile race, authorities said.

Fine. I'll start riding my bike again.

Stop looking at me like that.

My heartfelt condolences to the Goggins family.

Project Runway After Party

Episode 3: A Designer’s Best Friend
First off, why did they have to boot off the token Asian model? Damn, a sista can’t even catch a break around here!

Heidi tells the designers that they have to design a garment based on a designer’s “favorite accessory.” That night, the designers speculate over what this “accessory” could be over a couple of beers.

The next morning, the designers get a map to Central Park, and Laura guesses that they’ll have something to do with horses. So she busts out with an equestrian outfit. This woman cracks. Me. Up. Who the hell packs an equestrian outfit with them?

Tim Gunn comes over the grassy knoll with a gaggle of itty bitty foofy dogs. Get it? Designers? Foofy dogs? I’m overwhelmed by cuteness right now. I need a moment.

Ha! Laura’s not a dog person! So she gets the last dog left and puts it in her purse so she “doesn’t have to touch it.” The look on her face when she sees the dogs is priceless.

Jeffery observes that everyone picked a dog that pretty much resembled themselves – except Alison and Bradley trade, since Stewart the terrier looks more like Bradley than it does Alison. Cuteness and giggles abound.

I love Uli and her German accent. Her dog’s name is Einstein, and she says it all totally German-like – “EIN-schtein.” Just how my high school physics teacher used to say it. Aaah, good times, good times.

Tim tells the designers that not only do they have to design a dress for the dog’s owner, but they also have to make a matching outfit for the dog.

In other words, they have to design a dress for just the kind of dog owner I can’t freakin’ stand.

I have to admit though, I’m still overwhelmed by cuteness.

Angela concocts some cockamaimie story about a British headmistress of an art camp in Paris at a farm called Jubilee Jumbles, at which this headmistress throws a party for her dog, Patty Cake. Oh, by the way, did I mention that Patty Cake was “born in the spring”? Ugh! I swear, Angela should get the Auf based on the sheer lameness of that story alone. But this is Angela, all “balls out” and stuff. Yikes.

On to sketchin’!

Laura is pissed because her dog keeps walking all over her sketch pad. I’m surprised she doesn’t throw the dog back in the purse and fling it across the room. All that scampering about must have had an effect on her creative process, because the suit she’s making looks like it has a fur collar. Déjà vu!

Michael’s dog is chillin’ alongside the sketchpad. Pimpin’ ain’t easy, yo.

The designers only had 30 minutes at our favorite fabric store, and according to Kanye, Laura picks vanilla fabrics, while he’s all about the rocky road, baby.

Bradley’s stressing out because he’s not particularly inspired. Hmm …

Vincent cracks up for two minutes over something really corny. To be honest, I don’t even know what he was laughing about. He annoys me so much, I sort of tune out when he’s on the screen. But it had to do with him holding up a picture (ostensibly of the dog) and some white puffy thing that looks like a miniature captain’s hat. Look, I am a fan of the Cuteness as much as the next girl, but Vincent totally ruined it for me.

This particular challenge happens to fall on Bradley’s birthday, to which Jeffery says something about how much it would suck if he went home on his birthday. Foreshadowing, you say? I mean, Bradley is having quite the case of designer’s block, but don’t be silly, Bravo can’t be THAT predictable, can they?

(That was a rhetorical question. Moving on.)

At sewing time, Keith is getting on everyone’s last nerve. Laura says he’s become quite a “shithead,” and Keith retorts by calling her “bad mommy.” And as Miranda once said in Sex in the City, nobody wants to fuck bad mommy.***

Tim comes by to offer feedback. He’s taken with Uli’s design.

Keith tells Tim that he totally has this image in his head abut the woman who owns this dog, but says that his woman doesn’t dress her dog up. Hi, Keith. That’s the challenge. Make it work, hello.

Angela designs basically the same damn pouffy skirt that she wore during the critique in the last episode. What’s up with her and her pouffy garments? Maybe that’s her schtick, kind of like Kara Janx’s kimono dress. But … so totally not as cute.

Bradley’s outfit is just not working out (Translation: Outfit? What outfit?), and Tim tells him that it needs to be redone. And oh, by the way, Bradley only has one hour left. Make it work time!

Vincent, Master of the Wacky Analogy, likens Bradley to someone who “likes to jump off bridges and pick up things as he’s falling,” or something like that. So is he saying Bradley’s a suicidal kleptomaniac? He kills me. And not in a good way.

It’s the end of Day 1, and Bradley is up a creek. (Maybe Vincent’s bridge analogy was prescient after all!) His top is still not done – not to mention the dog’s outfit. He leaves thinking he just won’t show anything, and since it’s his birthday, he’d rather go out like a chump and show nothing down the runway rather than showing something sub par, or something that he doesn’t like.

A cop out, or artistic integrity? You decide.

The next morning, the designers lament over their morning OJ and toothpaste that it would suck to have Bradley get kicked off the show on his birthday. Talk is cheap – you just KNOW each of them is breathing a sigh of relief – at last, someone in a definitively worse spot than they are!

Back at Parsons, Bradley gets his hustle on – he has to finish the top and his doggy outfit. And when his model comes to see what she has to wear today, he tells her that she may not be wearing anything at all. But model chick ain’t havin’ it, because she basically checks him and in not so many words tells him that he can cry and cut, but he better cry and cut. This has apparently provided him with enough inspiration to finish the outfits.

The dogs come back for their clothes too, and Uli’s dog stops for a moment to nuzzle in her cleavage.

I have to say, the outfits are pretty cute. On to the runway!

Michael Kors is still out, so the nondescript Vera Wang is still the stand-in judge, along with NINAGARCIA, and Ivanka Trump, the anti-Paris Hilton.

Kanye’s outfit reminds me of Nick’s dress from the “My Scene Barbie” challenge.

Uli’s dress. I want it.

Robert’s design was very Chanel-esque, and go figure: That was the dog’s name, too. Did you catch the construction on that blouse? Gorgeous. Robert continues to impress me, episode after episode.

Alison’s outfit was cute too, but I think she should have made it a different color because you could hardly see the dog’s vest – white vest on a white dog? It just seems like such a waste, to go through all that detail in construction, only to have it blend into the dog’s fur.

Bradley’s outfit actually looked OK – reminiscent of Daniel V’s orchid top from last season.

Keith’s model came down in a cute halter dress with an Elizabethan-esque collar. But I don’t think the dog had anything on.

Bonnie’s was uncharacteristically chic. Mama likes.

Katherine’s outfit was … very … plain. If Michael Kors was in the house, he’d be telling us he was feeling a bit underwhelmed. The judges loved the dog’s hoodie more than the dress.

The show’s editors slept on Michael’s outfit. AGAIN. His tube dress, with the criss-cross weaved top … gorgeous. When is Michael going to get more face time in front of the camera?

Laura’s outfit, again, was very polished, but I’m wondering if the judges will accuse her of being a one-note. The outfit really does a good job of conveying Laura’s personality, but if I see another fur-lined collar, I’m going to cough up a hairball.

Angela’s outfit looks more bad 80’s fashion and less “Jubilee Junction.” Whatever the hell that’s supposed to look like. Unless she’s going for a clownish look, in which case, carry on!

Sidebar: The models did an excellent job down the runway. I wish I could say the same for the dogs. Either the models were walking too fast for these little dog’s legs, or their doggie treats were laced with something.

This is the first episode in which, during the critique, the story is everything. And it’s hilarious to hear the things these designers have come up with. Okay, I’m specifically talking about Angela’s.

Uli’s story about the socialite partying all night and heading out the next day with her fabulous friends for brunch and shopping for more fabulous clothes “works” for Ivanka. Hmm, speaking from experience there, dear?

Heidi says that Katherine’s dress is “blah,” and Nina says that there was a flaw in the execution, at which her dog starts to whimper. More foreshadowing?

Angela’s outfit – and story – sucked in its outrageousness. Heidi says the model’s outfit looked “raunchy.” Ivanka said that the model looked like a “streetwalker,” which goes to show that pouffy outfits not only can look like something a clown would wear, but also an outfit that apparently skanks favor as well.

On to Bradley: Vera Wang is ALL OVER IT. Nina tells him that she can see shooting this outfit for Elle. Bradley exhales. “Most original.” “Beautiful.” Suckers!

Keith tells Nina that he made “many, many outfits” for the dog. But the dog is naked, save for some bracelet that he put around its neck, which he didn’t make. Ivanka wants to roll tape to see if he really did make four dog outfits, while Nina defends the execution of his garments, which really, is nothing to shake a stick at.

Uli wins, and gets immunity for next week. Good for her. I loved her outfit.

Katherine gets the Auf.

Again, Angela and her puffy outfits are in. Apparently Ivanka’s “streetwalker” comment had no bearing on the final decision. I swear, what is UP with these judges right now?

I’m totally blaming everything on Vera Wang. Seriously. Bring Kors back. STAT!



** Actually, the line is "nobody wants to fuck mean mommy." Work with me here.

Ten Best Cities for Singletons

If you're single and ready to mingle, you might want to consider moving:

1. Denver-Boulder
2. Boston
3. Phoenix
4. San Francisco-Oakland
5. New York
6. Raleigh-Durham
7. Seattle
8. Austin
9. Washington D.C. - Baltimore
10. Miami

It's good to know that I don't necessarily have to move, but The Ways of Dating have me completely baffled to the point of heartache sometimes.

So this guy walks into a talent agent's office ...

(I know this is an old movie, but I just got NetFlix, so cut me some slack.)

If you don't know what "The Aristocrats" is about, basically it's a movie about a joke. A really, really, really filthy joke that has been improvised over the years, but the punchline is always the same. It's the setup of the joke that makes the joke itself, and the more far-fetched the setup, the funnier, the crazier, the more outrageous the joke becomes.

Anyway, I just saw it tonight, and it had me rolling. My favorites are all here: Lewis Black, John Stewart, Sarah Silverman, Carrie Snow (she's skinny now!), Dana Gould (love him!), and Taylor Negron.

Kevin Pollack's impersonation of Christopher Walken is hilarious. Hysterical. And remember Bob Saget? I had no idea he was so twisted: It's almost creepy to remember that he was the dad on "Full House" and the cheesy host of "America's Funniest Home Videos." This movie actually makes me have a little more respect for him.

If you haven't seen it yet, go rent it, add it to your queue, whatever. Just watch it.

Then come back and tell me what you think.

I see stupid people.

I hate to call people stupid, but I have to say: Residents of Black Hawk, Colo. are STOO-PID.

Basically, former Councilman David Spellman pleaded guilty for pistol-whipping his wife in 2005, but in a plea bargain, got off with probation for felony charges of menacing and third-degree assault.

So then, they made him mayor.

The town of Black Hawk's vote for the new mayor was unanimous. They said there was no history of assault, and they were willing to give him a second chance.

"If there's a message in this, it's that if you engage in domestic violence in Black Hawk, you will be prosecuted no matter who you are," said Black Hawk spokesman, Chuck Ford. "The courts will sentence you and we will see that you live up to the sentence."

They think this will have no effect on his ability to serve as mayor, since there was no history of assault. And on that note, apparently his wife's pistol-whipping has affected her cognition, because the couple has since reconciled.

Good thing he wasn't being prosecuted for getting a blow job from an intern, because we all know how that goes!

(Thanks to Roger Ailes - the good one - for the link.)

Baaaaaaa. Baaaaaa.

Who are these people?

Despite being widely reported in the media that the U.S. and other countries have not found any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, surprisingly; more U.S. adults (50%) think that Iraq had such weapons when the U.S. invaded Iraq. This is an increase from 36 percent in February 2005.

And yet, these people hold a negative view toward the Iraq war, and less half the people surveyed don't think that the threat of terrorism has been reduced.

Way to buy into the strategery, people.

Baaaa.

(Link from Think Progress.)

Òle!

Tonight was the last night of a flamenco dance workshop I'd been taking. It's a bittersweet ending, because while I'm sad that the workshop is over, I've also been lucky enough to be able to yet again tap into my flamenco obsession. And better yet: I now have one dance under my belt. During the course of this workshop, we've learned just a few compás' worth of the bulerías. I absolutely cannot wait until the next workshop.

I don't even remember when my appreciation---and when I say "appreciation," I mean "insatiable appetite"---for flamenco began. But all I know is that I have been obsessed with this musical and dance style for decades. And I don't know what inspired me, but I decided to finally get off my butt and do something about it. As a kid, I'd danced tap and jazz, so the discipline needed to follow along in a dance class came naturally to me.

Anyway. The workshop is over, and I totally didn't suck. I think I'll be dancing flamenco for a while. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be good enough to perform. We'll see.

(Photo credit: "Flamenco Dancers," Jo Slater-Thomas)

Because I just had to.

(Curses and props to Rich for the video.)

Project Runway After Party

Episode 2: Fit for a Queen, AKA the Vincent and Angela Episode, AKA The Great Travesty
Malan starts the show out pretty cheerful and optimistic, doesn’t he? He's so cute.

As you remember from last week, Keith won the last challenge, so he’s got immunity for this episode.

And in today’s episode, the designers get to pick their models, and as last week's winner, Keith gets to go first. He picks the model he had for the first challenge. Most go with the models they worked with on the first challenge, but some designers decide to go out on a limb and choose differently. So this means one model is out. I forgot her name. Anyway, auf wiedersehens are said, hugs are given, tears ensue. Yadda yadda.

So the designers get to design a dress for Miss USA, Tara Conner. You know Kayne (I keep wanting to type “Kanye,” by the way) is piddling his panties. He even sheds a tear.

Sidebar: Do people still watch these pageants? I thought the squeals and “oh my gods” from the designers were a little over the top.

Back at Parsons, Tim Gunn tells them that they’re going to work in teams of two. Yippee! Get to sketchin'!

Angela starts lobbying Kanye to be on his team, getting all up in his grill, making her case as to why they'll make a good team (maybe because Kayne owns a pageant-dressmaking business?) while Kayne looks very interested in his sketch pad.

After 30 minutes of sketching, each designer pitched their concepts to Conner, and Keith used this opportunity to cop a feel and tell her he wants to see her legs. I think Conner got a little moist.

There’s something very soothing about Malan’s voice. I don’t care what any of y’all say. I love me some Malan. And at that moment, Tara was mesmerized too, I know she was.

It's Angela's turn, and she brings zero sketches, and instead interrogates her about certain styles Tara prefers. Umpire waist? Sorry dear, it’s empire. Gloves? Girl, please. Tara looks off camera, seemingly to ask (with her heavily lined eyes), “WTF?” Way to impress a client, there.

So which designers had the winning pitch?

1. Kayne (pageant freaks, unite!)
2. Malan (I’m telling you, it’s the voice. I don’t care if the accent is affected or not.)
3. Keith (groping will get you everywhere, apparently)
4. Laura (I guess she has a thing for architects)
5. Jeffery
6. Vincent
7. Uli

Now the designers get to pick their teammate, and Kayne doesn’t pick Angela. Ouch. She’s the last one picked, and she’s paired with Vincent, who says, “I’d be happy to work with Alison.”

“Um, it’s Angela.”

BURN!

With a $300 budget, the designers head over to Mood, our favorite fabric store, and Angela starts busting his balls about time. Way to make your partner not feel stressed out.

Back at Parsons, Vincent starts draping and pretty much leaves Angela out of “the process.” So she starts to feel left out and leaves the room to get a snack or something.

Malan schools Katherine on the benefits of good organization. Fade out, fade in – and now we get a glimpse into Malan’s psyche, as he recounts a story from his childhood in which he shows his mom his sketches. Mom pretty much shot him down and told him those sketches would never amount to anything. I'm sure this is what causes Malan to wear nothing but suits, slick his hair back, and affect a British accent in his adult life.

Angela says, “Vincent, I’m really concerned because I made this dress in college.”

Vincent’s like, I’m not even trying to hear you because I have to drape this fabric, and pretty much busts out a verbal restraining order on her, telling her to step back three feet.

I don’t really think this partnership is working well.

Day 2, and Tim’s in the house to offer his insight.

Tim Gunn tells Vincent that he’s “disappointed” about how his dress is coming along. Vincent: “Oh, that’s okay!” Honestly, I want to smack him. Doesn’t he live in New York? Why does he seem so … naive?

He also tells Malan and Katherine that their dress basically looks like a big log. Tim Gunn, in his blog, calls it a "hulking stump of light-absorbing brown fabric." Sexay!

In a brief conversation over snacks at the Parsons commissary, Keith asks how Angela and Vincent are coming along. It appears that Keith mildly defends Vincent, to which Angela replies, “Your opinion is of no value to me, so …”

Angela is in touch with her inner Wendy Pepper, clearly.

Kayne and Robert are the. Gayest. Team. Ever. I love it!

That night, back at the Atlas, the boys and girls talk shit about Angela and Vincent. The following words get thrown around: “transparent as shit,” "stab you in the back any chance she'll get," “feminazi.” I wonder who they’re talking about? Don't get me started on the "feminazi" comment. But I digress.

Day 3, the day of the runway show, and Vincent and Angela bicker about what time they have to be finished by. Vincent asks Angela to find out for sure, and she tells him it’s 12:15. It turns out the real time is 12:30, so Vincent berates her, saying that she hasn’t helped at all, and when he asks her to do something, she can’t even find the correct time. Vincent wants a secretary, not a co-designer, it’s very apparent.

Sidebar: These text-message voting things are annoying. Bravo, please. Stop it trying to be like American Idol.

On to the runway!

Vera Wang stands in for Kors, who's undoubtedly busy designing some more jet-setting American fashion.

Jeffery’s dress was great in that deconstructed, avant-garde dress kind of way.

Keith’s and Bradley’s dress was very pretty, and flowy, and feminine, but as a pageant dress? I doubt it would work. It looks better suited for the red carpet rather than a beauty pageant. But I guess that's what Tara wanted.

I actually loved the color of Vincent and Angela's dress, but there was something wrong in the fit around the bust. And the shoulders. During the critique, Tara says that while the dress made the model look like a space cadet, it was still nice, because it was "different." Epaulets on an evening gown: Who knew? Angela sells Vincent out every chance she gets, but it looks like the judges aren’t trying to hear that. Angela is in “complete and total shock,” and Vincent says that the experience was the “nightmare of my life.”

Kayne and Robert’s dress was pretty spectacular in that flamenco dress kind of way (and y’all know how I love me some flamenco!). It looks like they used an iridescent organza that changed hue depending on the angle. The beading around the neck – working the built-in jewelry angle again – was very dramatic and very well executed.

Malan’ and Katherine’s dress was OK, although the ruching at the bodice reminded me of tree bark and fungus. And the hem is a little short. And unfinished. Katherine tells the judges that she doesn’t want to go home, and Malan says that it would “have to be” him if they decide not to pick him.

Uli and Bonnie‘s dress was nice too, although very similar to Keith and Bradley’s dress, but with a very, verrrry low back. Since when did Miss USA dresses become so sexy? Tara is loving this dress.

Laura and Michael’s dress had very clean and elegant lines, and it really did look like a pageant dress, which might help them, since most of the dresses were very elaborate and dramatic. There were rhinestones that had to be glued on one-by-one. To me, the gown was very reminiscent of an ice-skater's outfit, but in a good way.

Kayne wins this challenge, and Tara vows to “work that gown” at the pageant. Kayne gets immunity for the next episode.

Sidebar: What’s up with offering immunity with each challenge? Are we mixing up our reality shows, here? I liked the fact that each designer's fate was up for grabs on each episode! But nobody asked me ...

It’s down to Malan and Angela. Heidi tells Malan that he failed at the execution. Then she tells Angela that she failed at teamwork, with a little extra emphasis on the word “failed.”

Holy shit. Malan gets The Auf.

“I felt so ashamed,” he says, and how all of his life he’s had to say goodbye to people. “The show must go on.”

NOOOOOO!

We’re only two episodes in and I’m already pissed at this show. That is all.

Sometimes really filthy, stinking-rich people surprise me.

In light of my most recent HIV/AIDS fundraising efforts, I have to say, I'm quite impressed:

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has pledged $287m (£155m) in a bid to speed up the development of a vaccine for the HIV/Aids virus.

The money is being split into 16 grants for science teams across the world - with the aim that they work more collaboratively on new approaches.

All the recipients have had to agree to share their findings - even if they had been working on competing projects.

The funding of scientific programs is crucial for us on many levels --- the discovery of ways to manage or eradicate debilitating diseases, replace or repair damaged tissues caused by injury, the creation of vaccines to abate the spread of epidemics --- not to mention the fact that doing so will do a lot to re-establish the U.S. as a world leader in science and technology. And if our government won't do it, major props to those who give so generously out of their own pockets to help the advancement of mankind.

Now if only we can do something about that pesky obstacle to funding of stem cell research ...

Sweet Jesus, I can't stand Tony Snow

The press secretary's main job is to disseminate information to the media regarding the White House's point of view, not to be argumentative with reporters. Will somebody please fill Tony Snow in?

From today's press conference (emphasis mine):

QUESTION: We have gone for collective punishment against all of Lebanon and Palestine. And what’s happening — and that’s the perception of the United States.

SNOW: Well, thank you for the Hezbollah view, but I would encourage you…

QUESTION: Nobody’s accepting your explanation. What is it say, to call for…

SNOW: I’ll tell you, what’s interesting is people have. The G-8 was completely united on this. And as you know when it comes to issues of…

QUESTION: Stop the cease-fire? Why?

SNOW: We didn’t stop a cease-fire. Let me continue — I’ll tell you what. We didn’t even veto — please get your facts right. What happened was that the G-8 countries made a pretty clear determination that the guilty party here was Hezbollah. You cannot have a cease- fire when you’ve got the leader of Hezbollah going on his television saying that he perceives total war, he’s declaring total war, when they are firing rockets indiscriminately…(CROSSTALK)

SNOW: Please let me finish. I know this is great entertainment, but I want to finish the answer. The point here is, they’re firing rockets indiscriminately into civilian areas. The Israelis are responding, as they see fit. You will note, the countries that disagree with the government of Israel in terms of its general approach on Palestine — many of our European allies agree that Israel has the right to defend itself, that the government of Lebanon has the right to control all its territory, that Hezbollah is responsible, and that those who support it also bear responsibility.

There is no daylight between the United States and all the allies on this. They all agree on it. This was not difficult…

QUESTION: That’s not the point. Why did we veto a cease-fire?

SNOW: We didn’t veto a cease-fire.

QUESTION: Yes, we did.

SNOW: No, we didn’t. There was no cease-fire.

QUESTION: But wasn’t there a resolution?

SNOW: No.

QUESTION: At the U.N.?

SNOW: No. You know what you’ve done — I see — what happened was that there was conversation about, quote, a cease-fire that was picked up on some of the microphone when some colorful language made its way into the airwaves yesterday.(LAUGHTER)

And the president was continuing a conversation he had had earlier with Prime Minister Tony Blair about staging. Would we like a cease-fire? You bet. Absolutely. We would love to see a cease-fire. But the way you stage it is that you make sure that the people who started this fight, Hezbollah, take their responsibility.

QUESTION: There was no veto at the U.N.?

SNOW: No. There hasn’t been a resolution at the V.N. — the U.N., whatever it is. There haven’t been any…(LAUGHTER)

There hasn’t been.(LAUGHTER) I’ve been at (inaudible) in Germany too long. There has been no resolution at the U.N.

For all his petulance, I think I prefer Scotty "I hate my job" McClellan over this clown. Think Progress has it all - video, transcript, whatevah. Check it out. Shame on Snow, perpin' a fraud that there was no veto at the U.N. regarding a cease fire, when Think Progress has a link to an AP article reporting just that.

UPDATE: A Think Progress commenter points out the veto had to do with Gaza operations, not Lebanon. Still, that doesn't take away from the fact that I don't enjoy Tony Snow all that much.

NOW can we impeach him?

Isn't this obstruction of justice or something?

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said Tuesday that President Bush personally blocked Justice Department lawyers from pursuing an internal probe of the warrantless eavesdropping program that monitors Americans' international calls and e-mails when terrorism is suspected.

Get that foul-mouthed, chester molester moron outta the White House, jeez. What ELSE does he have to screw up before he gets the boot? Or do we have to call Syria to get this shit over with already?

P.S. "Call Syria" is my new catchprase, and I intend to use it whenever possible.

Caption this photo

"One of these days, Georgie. Pow! Right in the kisser!"

(Photo credit: Dmitri Astakhov/AFP — Getty Images)

SF AIDS Walk 2006 Redux

My feet hurt, but my spirits are soaring, for I've completed yet another 10k AIDS Walk and raised a nice amount of change to help take us a step forward toward ending this epidemic. Throngs of Bay Areans gathered at Sharon Meadow in Golden Gate Park early this morning in a show of solidarity, love, and hope. I'm always amazed at how many people are affected by this disease, and it's so wonderful to see people come together in this way. (I didn't see any of those Rev. Phelps hatemongers this year, thank Jah.) One guy carried a huge sign that said, "I miss my brother." His brother's name was Mike Jones. I didn't get to see how old Mike was when he died, but there had to have been at least 10 of those stickers you get when you finish the walk stuck on the back of the sign. So for ten plus years, his brother carried this sign, in remembrance of his brother Mike. It was really touching.

Touching, and cute. Because tons of people also brought their dogs. Dogs of every size, shape, and temperament. I even saw a St. Bernard, and really, how often do you see one of those live in the flesh? Never! There was also a preponderance of itty bitty foofy dogs being carried around. I'm sorry, but if you have to carry your dog, or if you have to put it in a purse, don't bring it. What's the point? And I have nothing but love for the yellow lab that tried to tackle me for the last bit of my morning bagel.

I also love doing the AIDS Walk every year, because it's great exercise. And I'm not just talking cardio here. My cousin and I noticed something about ourselves today: We're total freebie whores. Kashi TLC Bars? Wonderful! Dreyer's Whole Fruit popsicles? Why, yes! SBUX tangerine frappuccino sample? Don't mind if I do. Excuse me sir, where did you get that bag of chips?

By the end of the walk, our backpacks were so full with AIDS Walk booty that it made the trek back to the car a major hiking expedition.

There's nothing like taking a long walk in the park, on a gorgeous day, surrounded by like-minded people and volunteers cheering you on along the way. And there's something cathartic about doing this walk --- our collective steps marching toward the end goal symbolize the steps of advancement in science and technology that exist today --- and continue to be developed --- to help manage this virus, or eradicate it altogether.

That's a crossing of the finish line we should all be hoping for, and work together to achieve.

Many thanks to those of you who sponsored me for today's walk. You have no idea how much your support means to me. I hope one day, I can return the favor.

Fear of a Black Planet

I guess we're not the only country with immigration issues. French President Jacques Chirac spoke publicly today about the need to develop Africa economically. (Wow, really? You think?) He should have just stopped there, and it all would have been cool. But then he goes on to say:

"If we do not develop... Africa... if we do not make available the necessary resources to bring about this development, these people will flood the world," he said.

I think I understand where he was trying to go with this, but still. Don't use the whole "If we don't to this, then this will happen" argument when it applies to human beings trying to escape an environment of poverty and oppression. It's like he's trying to tap into some level of fear in the French, saying that some catastrophe --- a flood of black people --- will befall humanity if we don't "help Africa."

Africa does need help, this is true. But he could have approached it from a more humanitarian angle rather than characterizing an entire group of people as if they were some natural disaster, and that we should be afraid of them.

Freaky Friday

Say hi to Gemini, the two-faced cat. No, really.



(Photo credit: Laurie Kell/courtesy photo)

Taking a cue from K-Fed

I've been feeling a bit lonely these days, but now I think I've finally found a way to give my social life a boost and fatten up my wallet:

Britney Spears’ hubby has been earning extra cash by charging to show up at soirees; his fee for a cameo, according to In Touch Weekly, is a whopping $20,000.

And Spears is reportedly thrilled that, with Rent-A-Kevin and other gigs, her former back-up dancer actually has an income. In fact, Federline has supposedly earned $700,000 in the last four months.

[...]

With Federline raking in all this cash he reportedly did something that once would have been unthinkable: When he and Spears recently went to a restaurant, ITW claims Federline actually picked up the tab.

In lieu of cash money, cold beers and delightful conversation will be accepted graciously on my part.