I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive about my shit.

After coming to the conclusion that I need to do something constructive with my life, I started taking guitar lessons last week. Flamenco guitar. I figured this would be a great way to tap into my artistic side, involve me at a deeper level with my fascination with Spain and all things Flamenco, and to finally learn how to play the guitar.

Now, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. But man. I had no idea.

My fingertips hurt like a mutha. They feel like I slapped my fingertips on a sizzling-hot skillet, on purpose. Right now, they sort of tingle, but after a while of practicing my chords and some plucking, my fingers feel like they’re going to fall off.

And let’s not forget my funny guitar-playing posture. I am convinced that I am a freak of nature, born with abnormally short arms and fingers. As I reach to play the G7 chord, I find myself contorting my left arm into some overexaggerated undercurl in order to come close to playing the chord correctly.

But I am liking it so far. It’s only been a week, and I find myself holed up in my bedroom, practicing my six chords ever so diligently. If only I had the same approach to my many years of playing piano. My life would have been so different. Perhaps I would have gone to the University of the Pacific, majored in music and, by now, travelled the world performing in concert halls. Wearing formal dresses and shit.

Even now, after only three days, I’m already having daydreams of someday playing flamenco guitar on stage, maybe with two or three other guitarists, and a few dancers getting their stomp on. And I’d be all into it too, making those crazy guitar faces, feeling the music. I’d be the only woman flamenco guitarist in the circuit which would be somewhat of a highly marketable novelty, but I'd be respected because of my talent. Stunned audience members would whisper to each other,

"It's amazing - she's only been playing for a year, and she's already that good?"

I’m sure professional, female flamenco guitarists exist already, but this is my fantasy, dammit.

Anyway. I won't lie. Right now, I suck at the guitar. To the max. But I'll get better. Maybe not concert-hall good, but I-won't-be-embarassed-to-play-for-my-friends good.