Fruit Cocktail

Why does Gwyneth Paltrow hate children so much? Emphasis mine:

Gwyneth Paltrow is reportedly eschewing the temptation to have a full on fruit cocktail of a family (Her daughter, as you all probably know, is named Apple and her husband is... not without his own fruitiness.) by choosing to name her next baby, a boy, not Kiwi or Mango or Cumquat, but after her godfather, Steven Spielberg. And no, he won't be named Steven. Or even Speilberg. Or Rich. He'll be named Mortimer, because not only can Gwyneth Paltrow not fake an English accent, she is also incapable of calling people by their proper names. "Uncle Morty" is the nickname she bestowed upon her godfather as a child. Again, not Mortimer.

(Courtesy of my favorite guilty pleasure, Nothing but Pink Socks and a Sombrero, with gut-busting regular feaures, such as "Trann-ay or La-day?", "Who the What?", and "Guess that Nipple.")

Have a great weekend everybody.

Huh?

As if the Dubai Portgate thing wasn't enough to cause the Bush administration some drama:

In the aftermath of the Dubai ports dispute, the Bush administration is hiring a Hong Kong conglomerate to help detect nuclear materials inside cargo passing through the Bahamas to the United States and elsewhere.

The administration acknowledges the no-bid contract with Hutchison Whampoa Ltd. represents the first time a foreign company will be involved in running a sophisticated U.S. radiation detector at an overseas port without American customs agents present.

Freeport in the Bahamas is 65 miles from the U.S. coast, where cargo would be likely to be inspected again. The contract is currently being finalized.

The administration is negotiating a second no-bid contract for a Philippine company to install radiation detectors in its home country, according to documents obtained by The Associated Press. At dozens of other overseas ports, foreign governments are primarily responsible for scanning cargo.

Even though I'm somewhat happy some folks in the Philippines will get some work out of this deal, I still have to ask: Why is the Bush administration outsourcing to other countries responsibilities that are integral to our national security? After everything that has gone down on our soil (9/11), and the ever-tightening noose around our civil liberties (Patriot Act, FISAgate, etc.), I'm just a little surprised that there is so much trust in foreign governments to basically look out for the safety of the American people. I mean, this current administration, one that revels in secrecy and outright lying doesn't even trust its own people to begin with. How does this make sense?

Am I missing something here? If this is a "different kind of war," and if we have to change our way of thinking from a "pre-911" to a "post-9/11" mindset, why is the tendency - as it appears - to relinquish control over something that could directly effect how terrorists can infiltrate our country?

Cognitive dissonance, anyone?

(With inspiration from John at AMERICAblog.)

Let's go hiking!

To my delight, the proposed seven-mile hike at Purisima Open Space Preserve turned out to be five-mile semi-moderate stroll through gorgeous and lush redwood forest, due to closure of the Soda Gulch portion of the loop. Recent rains caused many portions of the trail to become squishy and muddy, which only added to the fun.

Speaking of fun, Am joined us on her first hike with the group and held her own with the faster hikers. She definitely gets the award for “hiker with the best trail snacks” – those pb&j sandwiches were delicious!

Actually, Joice wins the joint award for the bag of fresh strawberries. Yum.

Anyway, back to the hike!

Up until now, our humble little hiking club hadn't had any run-ins with animals while on the trail. On that day, banana slugs greeted us at every turn, along with a lone salamander, whom we named “Purisma Sally.” Some discussion was had regarding the proper etiquette when pouring water on a salamander. The main point of contention - if I remember correctly - had to do with P.H. levels in water vs. a salamander's skin.

I kept walking.

For those of us who felt up to an additional 3 miles, an out-and-back hike to Bald Knob noted a 15-degree differential from the cool, damp canyon, which gives you an idea of what a elevation distance of 1800 feet really feels like.

As I continue to go on these hikes, I find that my edge is about five miles. As my recap from the Mt. Tam hike shows, anything longer than five miles, and I begin to curse the ground I’m walking on. Every step forward is a mini struggle to contend with.

I suppose this means I need to continue to push myself.

Until then, I'll remain content in the fact that although I hadn't hiked since Mt. Tam, I managed to pull through this one quite nicely. My chest did not feel like it was going to explode this time. Progress?

I wholeheartedly recommend Purisima as a hike we'll need to revisit sometime soon. The lush canyon, tall redwoods, and creekbed reminded me of the sensory overload I suffered at Mt. Tam from taking in all of my gorgeous surroundings. It was truly beautiful. I'd be curious to do that same loop during the summer.

Farewell for now, Purisima - we'll be back. Until then, Hikemeister Doug provides us with yet another wonderful slide show from our hike. Enjoy!


(Photo credit: Doug)

You can lead a horse to water ...

... but you can't make him pull out the troops during his term in office, apparently.

Bush is saying now that U.S. troops will stay in Iraq "for years," and that it's up to the next president to decide when it's the right time for withdrawal.

Bush has adamantly refused to set a deadline for the withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq. Asked if there would come a day when there would be no more U.S. forces in Iraq, Bush said, "That, of course, is an objective. And that will be decided by future presidents and future governments of Iraq."

Pressed on whether that meant a complete withdrawal would not happen during his presidency, Bush said, "I can only tell you that I will make decisions on force levels based upon what the commanders on the ground say."

White House officials worried Bush's remarks would be read as saying there would not be significant troop reductions during his presidency. They pointed to comments Sunday by Gen. George W. Casey, commander of U.S. forces in Iraq, who said he expected a substantial troop reduction "certainly over the course of 2006 and into 2007."

Wow. How convenient. Not only will the next president inherit an ever-growing deficit, but now he/she will also inherit a poorly planned, poorly executed, and poorly run war in the Middle East.

Again, it looks like Bush will emerge from this disaster of a presidency unscathed. Pity.

(Photo credit: AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)

Coolness!

You all probably already knew this, but I just found out today. And I'm SO very excited to hear that the new span on the Bay Bridge will have a pedestrian/bicycle pathway from Oakland to Yerba Buena island.

Of course, the only article I could find about this was this one, which highlights the concerns some people have that we're now providing suicidal folks with yet another bridge from which to end it all.

Honestly, I don't know how I feel about this, and my tendency in this situation is to be a bit selfish ...

(Photo credit: Caltrans)

Three years and counting

Today in Ohio, Bush had this to say about the war in Iraq, which hit the three-year mark today:

In the war on terror, we face a global enemy. And if we were not fighting this enemy in Iraq, they would not be idle. They would be plotting and trying to kill Americans across the world and within our own borders.

Against this enemy there can be no compromise. So we will fight them in Iraq, we will fight them across the world, and we will stay in the fight until the fight is won.

So, basically, the strategy in the War on Terror --- or the rationalization for keeping our troops there in the midst of a civil war --- is that we're DISTRACTING Al Qaida from committing any more terrorist acts. So if we weren't fighting the war in Iraq, the terrorists would be so bored, and have so much time to kill, that they'd wage another terrorist attack on the U.S.

Why am I imaginging a game of "keep away"?

Nevermind too, that Bush is relying on a CONCEPT to lead us to a long-term victory:

In the long run, the best way to defeat this enemy and to assure the security of our own citizens is to spread the hope of freedom across the broader Middle East. We've seen freedom conquer evil and secure the peace before.

Makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Oy.

People shouldn't be afraid of their government....

We saw "V for Vendetta" last night on the IMAX. So good.

And while I can see why many people may think "V for Vendetta" supports/glorifies terrorism, I don't think it does. I mean, yes, "V" commits acts of terrorism - but the government in place precluded any sort of open, two-way dialogue between those in power and those they serve. What else is a masked avenger supposed to do?

To me, the movie tries to get the viewer to think of terrorism in a different way: What's the difference between terrorism and revolution? It's a fine line in this movie - on the one hand, yes - it's bad to kill people. But on the other hand, what will it take for people to stand up and take notice that their government is screwing them over? And once notice has been taken, to what extent will people stick to their convictions and right the wrongs that have been committed against them?

Stephanie Zacharek at Salon has this to say about the movie:

Mostly, "V for Vendetta" is a joyless, jumbled screed, a meditation on the evils of totalitarianism for people who don't really want to think too hard about it.

Maybe for some, yes. The parallels one can draw between the fictional political arena of the movie and of current day Bush Administration are numerous, of course (there's even an Avian flu mention in the beginning of the movie). But - and I may be a little too optimistic here, I realize - the movie's high-level analysis of Evil Regimes and the People Oppressed by Them may be just enough to get through to someone new, to get them thinking, taking the next leap, and perhaps finally come to the realization that we need a regime change, here in our own backyard.

Go see the movie. In IMAX if you can. Just saying.

Caress Me Down

It's been a while since I did one of these silly Internet quizzes, so I thought I'd start the weekend off right. Have a great weekend, everybody.

Which Sublime song are you? Caress Me Down Te gusta reggae, y te gusta punk rock. Oh and what's that other thing you like...oh yeah-sex. You're hornier than Ron Jeremy. Uuh, and that's the lovin' sound.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Is TuPac alive?

I have a cousin that is a huge Tupac Shakur fan. Huge. As in, she'll play his songs all day on his birthday.

Found this on Drudge. It's supposedly some footage that shows Pac chillin in some parking lot with his homies, smoking and just chillin.

A Holla Back exclusive, yo.

I don't know if this is real or not. And the resolution isn't all that great, but well, you never know.

It's hard out there for a pimp.

Bumper sticker anarchy

You've probably heard this already, but I just got to it today: A woman in San Diego is suing her employer for allegedly firing her over her car's bumper sticker.

It was a bumper sticker for Air America.

In her Feb. 21 claim, [Linda] Laroca asserts that on Oct. 8, three weeks after she started working for the marketing company, Fath called her on a Saturday and requested they meet at a nearby grocery store parking lot so Laroca could pass on some documents Fath needed.

During the brief encounter, Laroca charges, the manager pointed to the bumper sticker ---- the only one on Laroca's car ---- and remarked that it was a new sticker and called it "that Al Franken left-wing radical radio station."

Laroca alleges in her suit that Fath then told her, "The country is on a high state of alert. For all I know, you could be al-Qaida."

A stunned Laroca laughed nervously at the statement, the suit alleges, and then was dealt "the final blow" when Fath fired her on the spot.

I don't even know what to say.

(Thanks to Paco for the link.)

Nine trillion dollars.

I'm sick to my stomach after reading this. Under Clinton, didn't we have a surplus? I'm just saying.

Only a handful of Republicans spoke in favor of the measure as a mostly empty Senate chamber conducted a brief debate Wednesday evening.

Senate Finance Committee Chairman Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, said Bush's tax cuts account for just 30 percent of the debt limit increases required during his presidency. Revenue losses from a recession and new spending to combat terrorism and for the war in Iraq are also responsible, he said.

As for the $781 billion increase in the debt limit, Grassley said: "It is necessary to preserve the full faith and credit of the federal government."

Newsflash for Grassley: Being nine trillion dollars in debt really does nothing for me in terms of preserving my faith in the federal government right now. Seriously.

(Props to Rich for the link.)

Bush Euphemisms

In my relatively short stint as a - dare I say it - blogger, I am always amused at the euphemisms writers use to refer to President George W. Bush. I came across this post from at Povertybarn in which SourKraut refers to him as "Dumb Dumb."

Needless to say, this roused a hearty chuckle within me.

So I thought I'd list all of the Bush euphemisms I could think of that I've heard over the years - some from bloggers, and some from old coworkers. Feel free to add more in the comments section. I think it'd be interesting to see how many we can come up with.

1. Not My President
2. Dubya
3. Shrub/Shrubya
4. Preznit
5. King George
6. Gwibby
7. Bubble Boy
8. ???

More hot air, plus an update from me

Posting will be light for the next few days (as if any of you really notices anyway, now that Project Runway is over), as I am busy with the flawless execution of this conference I've been coordinating for the past three months.

I'm sitting in my hotel room right now with a delightful view of the freeway. My fault, I guess, for asking for a room with a balcony. Anyhoo.


Bush is going to start defending his Iraq policy (yes, again) in a series of speeches this week. Yawn. Seriously. Nothing we haven't heard before ("We will not lose our nerve"). More staunch I've-made-up-my-mind-and-I'm-sticking-to-my-guns language.

Nevermind that 54 people died yesterday in Baghdad as a result of more bombings.

I'm with Kennedy when he says this:

Democratic Sen. Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts, a critic of the Republican administration, said instead of leading a "public relations blitz" Bush should bring Iraq's factions together for a summit to avoid a slide into civil war.

I mean seriously. Enough with the smooth talkin'. We already know Dubya's full of it because he made no mention in this speech about any timetables for bringing the troops home.

Alas, I'm also afraid that this series of speeches is meant to further build a case for messing up Iran, too:

Bush said Iran had been responsible for some of the increasing lethality of attacks in Iraq.

"Such actions along with Iran's support for terrorism and its pursuit of nuclear weapons are increasingly isolating Iran," he said. Iran has denied meddling in Iraq and says its nuclear program is strictly for civilian purposes.

U.S. officials have previously accused predominantly Shi'ite Iran of giving training and weapons to Shi'ite militias operating in Iraq -- charges rejected by Iran's leaders.

Oy.

Ports, schmorts

SHHHHH! Don't let the terrorists see this one!

Lapses by private port operators, shipping lines or truck drivers could allow terrorists to smuggle weapons of mass destruction into the United States, according to a government review of security at American seaports.

The $75 million, three-year study by the Homeland Security Department included inspections at a New Jersey cargo terminal involved in the dispute over a Dubai company's now-abandoned bid to take over significant operations at six major U.S. ports.

The previously undisclosed results from the study found that cargo containers can be opened secretly during shipment to add or remove items without alerting U.S. authorities, according to government documents marked "sensitive security information" and obtained by The Associated Press.

And this UAE ports deal was supposed to be all kosher, remember? All business records did not have to be kept on U.S. soil, right? And we were supposed to trust Bush on this one, because he looked into every single possibility of terrorist infiltration and came up with every Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C imaginable to prevent that from happening. Oh wait.


(With inspiration from Joe in DC at AMERICAblog.)

To my friends on the east coast.

I made granola tonight. From scratch.

It's official. I'm a hippie. Don't hate.

(Kickass serving bowl courtesy of ACCI Gallery.)

How is this even a parallel?

Courtesy of Pandagon comes this article:

A group of men's rights activists will file a lawsuit Thursday aimed at giving men a chance to opt out of financial responsibility for raising a child.

The group argues that women have more options than they do in the event of an unintended pregnancy.

The gist of the argument: If a pregnant woman can choose among abortion, adoption or raising a child, a man involved in an unintended pregnancy should have the choice of declining the financial responsibilities of fatherhood.

First of all, don't even get me started on how absurd the term "men's rights activist" is.

Second of all, don't some men do this already? Does bringing the law into it somehow make it new?

I'm tentatively relieved

So I guess the UAE company has bowed out of the ports deal.

"Because of the strong relationship between the United Arab Emirates and the United States and to preserve that relationship ... DP World will transfer fully the U.S. operations of P&O Operations North America to a United States entity," Edward H. Bilkey, DP World's chief operating officer, said in a statement.

So which U.S. company is going to get this ports contract?

Halliburton must have some kind of subsidiary related to this, I'm sure.

Project Runway After Party

Episode 14: Finale Part Two
The final runway show is here, and I am as happy as a little girl. And even though I’ve already seen the clothes, there’s nothing like watching the models prance and traipse and flutter down the runway, breathing life into the designers’ creations. I just hope the music on the runway is better this year!

So last week, we saw the Final Three designers return to Manhattan after five months of working on their 12-piece collections for Olympus Fashion Week. Then Heidi Klum bum rushes them with their final “surprise”: To design a 13th garment to fit into their collection.

Why?

The better to make my homegirl Lil’ Chlo cry again, of course.

So here we are, at the last episode, and we see the final three designers with their ex-cast member partners rushing to make the now-infamous 13th outfit.

Chloe leaves the draping to Diana, but she’s taking too long. If Diana continues at this pace, Chloe’s gonna have to bust a “I don’t care if you cry and drape, but you got to cry and drape.”

Back to the BR workroom. Santino and Andrae are making a dress, and Tim tells them that it’s “gorgeous.”

Daniel “Don’t Call Him the Golden Child” Vosovic says his 13th garment “invigorates” the rest of his collection. Oh. It’s that beige sack dress that I saw a few weeks ago. Yawn. I’m underwhelmed.

Did you see that? I channeled Michael Kors just then.

Tim calls the designers to gather around to pick order of presentation: Daniel, Chloe, and then Santino.

Ten hours before the show, finishing touches are made, shoes and accessories are sorted, and emotions are running high. Blah, blah, blah.

It's 5:30 a.m. the day of the show, the designers entered the empty tent. The gravity of the situation - the realness of it all - begins to sink in.

Ooh. I want an Elle goodie bag. I hope the folks at Blogging Project Runway are able to get the low down on what’s in those goodie bags. You KNOW it’s gotta be some great stuff. (UPDATE 3/9: Christine at bliu blog was there at the PROFW show - yes, I'm jealous - and she mentions not only what was in the goodie bags, but she has nice candid pictures with celebs and PR cast mates from seasons 1 and 2. Drool.)

Chloe’s having issues with makeup and hair, and she is NOT happy.

“Oh my God. Lack of sleep is making me a diva,” Lil’ Chlo says.

Go on, girl. You BE a diva. It’s your day, homegirl.

Daniel V. is missing his arts-and-crafty handbags. Tim tells him “Everything happens for a reason.” Hmm. Tim Gunn sabotage?

They show Santino’s mom in the audience. She’s verklempt, of course. Cut to Daniel’s parents, but they find the purses, so let’s talk about them instead!

The runway show starts. Heidi looks like she’s been fake n’ baking. She introduces the judges, Nina Garcia, Michael Kors, and Debra Messing from “Will and Grace.”

Let’s start the show.

Daniel Vosovic
I know I’ve bashed Daniel’s collection for a few weeks now. I still think he’s produced better garments during the course of the show, but I really found his Project Runway collection to be pretty safe and quite frankly, nothing new that I haven’t seen anywhere else. I liked the seafoam green (?) wrap/kimono top, but then again, I think I liked it because it reminded me of Kara’s trademark kimono dress. However, seeing Daniel’s collection come down the runway improved my final perception of the it by about 20%. Except for the 13th garment. I’m not loving that at all. It’s a shapeless sack.

Daniel’s model during the show, Rebecca, comes out in the final dress and gets her feet tangled in the fishtail hem. She trips on it, but doesn’t fall. Oh, the drama! This is like, the equivalent of fumbling the football or something. You just know Kors is gonna give Daniel shit for this.

Lil’ Chlo
So homegirl comes out on the runway, thanks everyone for coming, points out her family and thanks them, etc. Ooh. Chloe has a boyfriend. He’s hot! You go, girl!

I enjoyed the sexiness of the long green dress with the floral print. The high-collared suit/blazer was kind of stiff, but its other counterpart (the pants outfit with the lace shrug top in the same color scheme) was a lot more “Chloe.” I also just loved the long blue print dress with the wide blue trim. Her 13th look was cute too, but there was something very “pre-teen” about the bust. Like it was too small or something. That wouldn’t even cover my girls if I wore that dress.

And the final gown made Grace, again, look like she’d had a few decent meals, finally.

Santino Rice
After giving his mom a shout out (“My mom’s the shit, y’all!”) his collection starts.

Santino's collection - to me, anyway - totally succeeded in conveying the 40’s Hollywood glamour/boudoir theme – even down to the 13th garment. If I had to get rid of one piece, it would be that black Queen Elizabeth-Virgin-Queen-Gone-Goth jacket, only because it came off as a bit heavy, and wasn’t as light and airy as the rest of the other garments. It was a cool jacket and created an interesting silhouette, but that one was a bit of a wild card. Overall though, I thought Santino did a great job.

AND, to top it all off, Santino created his own original music for the runway!

Think of it this way, Santino: If the designing gig doesn’t work out (or if Nicky Hilton doesn't hit you up for a dress), you have a promising career in electronica.

Judging time!
Debra Messing asks each designer to describe the inspiration behind their collections. Michael Kors says that he wants to rip that patch off of Rebecca’s dress. And he liked Daniel V.'s 13th dress. He thought it was great. WHAT? Losers. And the judges mention that the whole Asian and military theme didn’t play out. Agreed.

Nina and Michael say that Santino’s collection was out of character. Nina thinks it was too safe, but she appreciates this aspect of a more “mature Santino.” Thank you. But then, they criticized the fit of his clothing: “The boobs weren’t where they were supposed to be,” says Heidi. But Nina assures him that he has a place in fashion and for him not to be discouraged.

The judges move on to Lil’ Chlo and question her choice of doing all evening wear. Heidi criticizes the “matchy matchy” shrugs. Heidi says she’d never wear that, but maybe they love to rock that look in Houston. Who knows? Debra Messing absolutely loved Chloe’s 13th dress.

Each designer now has to defend why they should win. Santino thinks he’ll create timeless pieces even if people think he’s crazy. Chloe says she has a great business mind. Daniel says he has a unique point of view.

So who wins? And more importantly, do I get a carne asada burrito out of this?

Damn. Santino is out. No burrito for me.

Lil’ Chlo wins! And so does Grace, she gets her spread in Elle! Congrats, ladies!


P.S. to Daniel V.: Take the Kors job offer.

Hassle-hoff.

David Hasslehoff's estranged wife has filed a claim alleging domestic abuse.

I don't really know what to say about this (aside from the obvious), but I just wanted an excuse to use this picture, which I have dubbed "The Greatest Picture Ever."

I even have it on a t-shirt, I love it that much.

That is all.

Creepazoid.

There are just some things you don't joke about. For real.

(Photo credit: Getty Images)