Love your hoohaa, please. That's all I ask.

You all know by now the "scandal" that erupted in Atlantic Beach, Fla. with the woman who was so offended that the marquee advertising The Vagina Monologues actually said the word "vagina" on it.

Atlantic Theatres in Atlantic Beach, Florida, received a complaint from a woman who'd seen the advertised title as she drove past with her niece. She said that it had made her niece ask her what a vagina was.

The theatre's Bryce Pfanenstiel commented: 'I'm on the phone and asked “What did you tell her?” She's like, “I'm offended I had to answer the question.”'

Hello, you're a woman. You have one. Your niece? She has one. Why be offended that you had to answer the question? What you succeeded in doing is throwing the blanket of shame around it. And thanks for passing that shame along to your niece, when all you could have said was,

"Oh that? That word is 'vagina,' and it's what you call the body part between your legs."

Or something to that effect. And boom. End of discussion.

But instead, because of your stupid, freaked-out, Puritanical, shame-throwing, vagina-hating ways, you pretty much forced the owners of the theatre to change 'vagina' to "hoo haa," as in "The Hoohaa Chronicles." Corny. So not only have you made your niece feel dirty because she has a vagina, but you've also done your part to censor art. Congratulations, you stupid ass.

Props to the theatre owners for changing the marquee back to the play's original title. I personally don't think you should have even changed it in the first place, but it's cool. You're redeemed.

To the woman in this story: Obviously you haven't seen the vagina celebration that is The Vagina Monologues. I suggest you buy yourself a ticket. STAT.

Say it loud and proud, girlfriend: I HAVE A VAGINA.

UPDATE: On second thought, maybe this woman is one of those who think her vag is ugly.


(Props to Scott for the link.)