Did Portishead kill trip-hop?

That's what this Salon article by James Hannaham says. Apparently Tricky and Massive Attack, in their most recent releases, have turned away from the Bristol Sound. Our only hope---Portishead and their ten-years-overdue third album--- Hannaham seems to assert, doesn't keep it alive.

[Lead singer Beth] Gibbons' trembling voice used to sound bluesy and erotic --"It Could Be Sweet," from their debut, could have been pillow talk verbatim. On the second record, she often threw in a vampy, nasal quality that cut the generally depressive tone with a touch of humor. What singer could take herself seriously while doing a Shirley Bassey impression? On "Third," Gibbons takes herself entirely too seriously, moving between a whispery, disaffected moan and a fluttery, anxious whine. She always sounds powerless, like she's about to burst into tears. The folky numbers, like "Hunter," have a very listenable, austere atmosphere, but not a sensual one -- Portishead has lured you and your partner to their dark Transylvanian castle, but you'll be sleeping in separate quarters.

One of the tracks from the new album, "Machine Gun," is up on their MySpace page.

Oh, snap. He's right, it's a totally different sound. I'm not going into mourning just yet: true, it's no Roads or Mysterons, but I'll still buy the new album anyway.

The New Yorker drops knowledge about "The Hills"

Yeah, I've watched "The Hills" voluntarily. A girl sometimes needs some mindless entertainment. But I'll never forgive Lauren Conrad, she of the "sub-Old Navy" clothing line, for blowing off a summer in Paris so that she could spend time with her boyfriend. What? WHO DOES THAT?

Anyway. I love when high-brow publications offer up commentary about vapid pop-culture institutions. In this case, The New Yorker takes on "The Hills," and the author still can't figure out why this show is so hot.

I don’t know for sure what the appeal is, even though I have worked for nine years in the building identified in the show as Teen Vogue Headquarters and some wisdom should have rubbed off on me by now. But I’m still trying to figure out why teen-agers want their bra straps to show and how it came to pass that crooked hair parts are considered chic and not a pathetic sign that you didn’t have proper mothering. So I have plenty to think about as it is. The L.A. of this show has no edge or darkness to it, and perhaps it’s easy, and pleasant, for young girls to imagine being Lauren & Co. when they grow up. (Or at least to have their teeth, which are truly spectacular.) The show’s soundtrack is all pop songs, often as many as a dozen per episode, and they tend to be programmatically upbeat or emo, underlining the three overriding and broadly painted feelings of the characters: I’m so glad; I’m so sad; and I’m so confused. These characters are now in their twenties, but they still smell like Teen Spirit.

Heh.

(Photo credit: Illustration by Quickhoney, courtesy of The New Yorker.)

Poor Larry.

Larry Ellison's shithole in Woodside, CA.

Larry Ellison, Oracle's CEO, recently took a $3M tax break on his Woodside home after declaring it "functionally obsolete," whatever that means. According to the SF Chronicle, the money will come out of San Mateo County funds, $1.4M of which would have gone to schools.

And while it's true that Ellison, Mr. #12 on the Forbes 500 List, already has a net worth of about $25 billion (with a B, kids), he must really need that extra three mil, so get off his back.

Why? How did Larry Ellison's palatial estate decline by more than 60 percent in value in a market where luxury homes are actually appreciating and single-family homes values in the county only decreased 6.3 percent in the last year, according to DataQuick Information Systems?

Oracle spokeswoman Deborah Lilienthal declined comment, and Bennett, of San Francisco law firm Bennett & Yee, didn't return a call from The Chronicle. But Ellison's appeal claimed the property suffered from "significant functional obsolescence" because there is a finite market for high-end luxury homes, limited appeal for 16th-century Japanese architecture and the "over improvements" and "excessive" landscaping are costly to maintain.

Sixteenth-century Japanese architecture doesn't just take care of itself, Lar.



(Photo credit: Chronicle photo, 2006, by Christina Koci Hernandez)

2008 WRBC

Since I had such a great time last year, I spent my afternoon in Berkeley at the 2008 Western Regional Barista Competition, sucking down cappuccinos and watching baristas from all over California compete for the regional championship and the chance to compete in the U.S. Barista Championships in Minneapolis.

For those of you who don't know:

The Western Regional Barista Competition strives to foster the production of quality coffee, encourage creativity and innovation, and create an regional, national, and international community of specialty coffee professionals.

Each contestant prepares and serves 3 espresso beverages for each of four sensory judges...one espresso, one cappuccino, and one "signature" drink of their own creation. Competitors have only 15 minutes to prepare all twelve drinks while being observed by four sensory skills and two technical judges. Competitors are judged based on drink taste, presentation, technical skills and cleanliness.

My favorite thing to watch are the different techniques the baristas use to dose and tamp their shots. If you're into that sort of thing, it's really interesting to see the differences in technique and the complete comfort they have when working with these machines. Back in my barista days, I could steam milk like nobody's business. But the grinder? Trial and error, my friends. Trial and error.

Ritual's Chris Baca, my favorite, got first place. I'm sure his cherry-lime-cheesecake signature drink had a lot to do with his win (aside from his stellar technique, of course) which, as I've heard from friends of mine who've tasted it, is super delish.

Chris Baca in action

Here's a list of today's winners:

1st: Chris Baca, Ritual, San Francisco, CA
2nd: Kyle Glanville, Intelligentsia, Los Angeles, CA
3rd: Heather Perry, Coffee Klatch, San Dimas, CA

And I would be remiss to neglect giving mad props to the last guy who competed today from Intelligentsia (sorry dude, I didn't catch your name, my bad) for including Snoop Dogg's Sensual Seduction in his music mix. That's espresso-makin' music right there, baby. Aww yeah.


(Photo courtesy of WRBC's Flickr page.)

Bathing With Bierko: John Malkovich

Oh man. You gotta watch this. Interview show meets bath time.

Fucking fantastic.





Thanks to BYO for the link.

Holla At a Panda

Oh, those pandas, always needing help with their sex game:

Animal handlers in China have developed a "sexercise" program to try to encourage extinction-threatened pandas to overcome their notoriously low sex drives.

Featuring hip and pelvic-strengthening "dances" for male pandas, the program also sees inexperienced pandas watching their older relatives make love to learn a few moves.

The handlers hope to encourage mating among the sex-shy-but-endangered animals, the Chinese state media reported Tuesday. They work at the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding in the southwestern Sichuan province, the China Daily said.

Keepers teach male pandas a dance-like routine to strengthen the pelvic and hip area -- it also boosts the animal's stamina, the paper said.

Poor pandas. Not only do you have to deal with heightened scrutiny surrounding your sex life and your handlers making you watch panda porn to help you get busy. Now they're trying to teach you how to get all freaky deaky on the dance floor while making you watch other pandas --- who may essentially your aunts and uncles --- have sex right in front of you as a means to get you in the mood.

After all of that, it's no wonder why you pandas have low libidos. Performance anxiety, anyone?

I you ask me, I say you leave them in a room with a bottle of tequila and some Barry White/Luther Vandross playing in the background, and let nature take its course.




Props to Ceci for the link. Photo lifted from here.

Nietzsche Family Circus

As a kid, I totally hated that Family Circus comic. I found it utterly corny and trite. But this, courtesy of LosAnjealous, makes the whole thing way more palatable. Here's an example:

The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.

Props to Scott for the link.

And I'm off ...

... to New York for a few days. See you in a few.


(Photo credit: Allposters.com)

Project Runway After Party - Season 4

Season Finale: Congratulations, Christian!




Christian Siriano wins Season 4 of Project Runway, and I think it was well deserved. With all of the bitchiness and all of the Fierce aside, his collection was edgy, modern, and way stylish.

I did, however, love Rami's woven gown and the one with the 1930's vintage lace. Gorgeous.

Jillian's collection was alright, but after a while, the models just looked so drab and robot-like, just like her. So that was a turnoff for me. Not fierce.

Flamenco Open Stage this Sunday

Our big student show is this weekend, and I'm really excited about it. We've been working on this long choreography por alegrias for several months now, and it's been challenging but freakin' awesome at the same time.

I'm even getting a skirt made special for the show.

That's life in showbiz, kids.

Match, smatch.

I'm starting to think last week's impulsive move was all a big mistake and am beginning to fear that I am somehow un-dateable.

Project Runway After Party - Season 4

Episode 12: The Reunion Show (aka NINAGARZILLA)

I didn't think there was anything too spectacular about this reunion show, so I'd just like to leave you with my observations.

1. Why do bangs look so much better on other people (and by "other people," I mean "Heidi Klum") except me?
2. Why was Victorya upset about Jack leaving?
3. Why did the camera immediately cut to Victorya when the designers complained about eating so much Chinese take out?
4. I think it's safe to assume that the entire cast and crew of this season's Project Runway HATED Victorya.
5. I love how Heidi says “Lincoln, Nebraska.”
6. Ricky. Crying. I'm over it.
7. The montages? I was a little underwhelmed by them. Except:
8. Elisa's extraterrestrial video montage rivaled Guadalupe's in terms of sheer train wreckedness.
9. Watching Michael Kors lose his poker face over the corny runway antics of the RAW divas just touched my heart.
10. Ramilicious? Is that the best you could do?
11. Spread Eagle: Best Wrestler Name. Evar.
    
12. NINAGARZILLA. I'm just saying.
    
13. Christian is the fan favorite. Fierce. I think I identify with Christian because I, too, am fierce.
14. Michael Knight! I know Tiffany is dying right now!
15. Check out Heidi trying to drink in Michael Knight’s scent.
16. Chris' laugh? Not all that. But I still love him.
17. Jillian's human after all. She came off 40% more interesting. And her pirouette? Fierce.

Be sure to check out Blogging Project Runway's Recapalooza for recaps from other Project Runway freaks like me.

I am officially crazy.

I don't know what got into me, but I just put up one of those fancy online dating profiles on Chemistry.com.

I've not had great luck in the dating arena, to put it mildly, and my last relationship (if you can even call it that) ended badly. As soon as I hit "enter" after entering my credit card information, a wave of terror rushed through me. I feel vulnerable and scared and am wondering if I can even go through with all of this. Is anyone going to find me attractive? Will I find anyone attractive enough to endure hours of small talk and butterflies in my stomach?

Happy Valentine's Day or something

Especially to you who are Valentine-less, like me.

UPDATE 2/14, 11 a.m.: I realize my initial post is somewhat cynical. After reading this heart-warming, positive piece from Res Ipsa Loquitur at Rising Hegemon, I've been inspired to follow her lead and not be so damn negative about Valentine's Day. So, on that note:

Project Runway After Party, Season 4

Episode 11: The Art of Fashion

Hello, dear Reader. I'm back. Sorry for not doing a recap of the last episode. I was out of town and was too caught up in Pinkberry that I got back to where I was staying just in time to know that Ricky got The Auf. Boo hoo. Not.

So we're down to five designers. Behold, dear Reader, the designers who will be showing their collections at Bryant Park, two of which are, of course, the traditional Project Runway decoys:



This week's challenge, to find inspiration in timeless works of art was, as one designer put it, "a designer's dream." It's art creating art. Does that make it ... meta? Postmodern? Hmmm ...

Anyway, in the spirit of Bravo's final twist (more on that later), I'm not going to go into the play-by-play for this episode; I've found it a bit tedious, and many recappers do a much better job of it than I do. Instead, let's go right into a discussion of the final runway pieces, shall we?

Behold, the winner of this week's challenge: Christian and his androgeny-inspired look from a Spanish painting blew my mind. See for yourself:



Say what you will about Christian, but even with all of his snark, all of this bitchiness, and all of his swagger, he puts his braggadocio money where his mouth is and consistently offers up a strong point of view week after week. I will admit, I was getting tired of his vertically ruffled, skinny-arm jackets, but he managed to tweak it just enough for this final challenge. He created a piece of art, of theater and, most importantly, of fashion. His fearlessness earned him the win, and he rightly deserved it.

The other fan favorite, Rami --- a beautiful male specimen indeed --- has become a bit of a one note, I'm afraid. His dresses, while gorgeous in all of their resplendent red-carpet-Grecian-goddess drapery, in the end were more uninspiring than anything else. And for this final challenge, one would think that he'd want to bring forth onto the runway something a little more memorable. But, like Michael Kors said, he played it a little too safe. While yes, it's true that the designers found out about this challenge in a room filled with Hellenistic sculpture, I don't think Rami should have taken it as as a mandate to create the same garment he's been making the entire season.

I don't really have much to say about Chris and Jillian's garments. Chris', while beautiful in and of itself, was too similar to the couture challenge. And I really didn't see why the judges (including Guest Judge Roberto Cavalli) found Jillian's jacket to be stunning. I hated it.

Sweet P (along with Christian) became my favorite because of her sweet demeanor (hence the moniker, I assume) and her ability to come through with a great garment each week. It was sad to see her get The Auf this week, but I understand why; her garment failed to make the connection between the peacock painting and her vision. I would have at least liked to have seen the same purple, green and gold colors in the garment (without looking like some Mardi Gras costume from hell) instead of that garish red and that ugly print. They had two days for this challenge; she should have done something much more ... peacock feathery. Like something along the lines of a peacock bata de cola or something. Anything but ... this:



Back to Rami and Chris. Both designers' designs were redundant, yet beautiful for what they were. So the good folks at Project Runway decide to up the drama ante and make Rami and Chris compete for the third coveted spot at Bryant Park. Both will come up with a collection and show the Project Runway judges three of their strongest looks. The winner of that mini-challenge will show their entire collection, along with Christian and Jillian at Bryant Park.

This little dramatic twist would have been more interesting, except for the fact that we all know that all five designers (Jillian, Christian, Chris, Rami, and Sweet P) show at Bryant Park anyway.

You gotta love the Internets.

My call for Project Runway Season 4 winner? Christian Siriano. Rami doesn't need the win. He already has his own business and has dressed the Jessica Albas of the world. Of course, I would have loved it if Sweet P won the entire competition because she really needs the money and because she's kind of an underdog. But looking at her entire collection juxtaposed against the other designers, she's just in a different league.

Next week: The reunion show!

Real-live Quidditch Leagues

Yeah, you heard me. It's true.

The first intercollegiate Quidditch match was held here this month, and though this version of the game is earthbound, it's taking off. Originally played by wizards darting about on broomsticks in the Harry Potter novels, the game is now taking root on college campuses.

"We were all Harry Potter's age when the books started," says Sam Libby, 20, a Middlebury College junior geography major from Richmond, Vt. "And Quidditch is one of the most creative things that came out of the books. We were able to create that here, follow all the rules, except the ability to fly. It just caught on."

Quidditch surfaced at Middlebury two falls ago when a handful of students gathered to play a rudimentary form of the game on Sunday afternoons, making up rules extrapolated from the books.

By this month's Intercollegiate Quidditch World Cup Fall Festival, there were banners, team processions worthy of Olympic opening ceremonies, halftime entertainment and 12 seven-person coed Middlebury teams vying for the chance to play the visiting team from Vassar College.

Why can't some things just be left alone? These nerds are ruining the Harry Potter magic for me.


(Photo credit: Alden D. Pellett/USA Today)

What Tarot Card Are You?

Hmm...

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

New obsession

I've been in downtown Los Angeles for the last 24 hours and have discovered a new obsession: Pinkberry.

Pinkberry, Silver Lake.

To some, it's just another Fro-Yo place. Others might question whether there's any yogurt actually in it. Still, some others line up around the block for a cup of it's creamy, sweet/tart goodness, with that clean finish that my palate loves oh, so much.

Now I know why. Yum. I have plans to visit the Silver Lake location today.

I leave SoCal early tomorrow and am already plotting to get a fix in before boarding the plane. Do they have one at LAX? I'm just saying.



UPDATE, 2/8: I'm going to NYC in March. I just found out they have nine locations there. I am as happy as a little girl.

Super Tuesday

Before you get your Mardi Gras game on, don't forget to vote today.

Freaky Friday

Since many of my beloved co-workers, some of whom read this blog, were out of the office last Friday, I thought I'd show you a graphic depiction of how my day started:



Except it wasn't a cockroach, it was a spider. And I wasn't in a news studio in front of a weather map, but inside my cube. But my reaction? Totally just like this guy. Maybe even worse, actually.

Also, I wanted to post this because it cracks me up.