Spam cracks me up.

I've been out of the office for the last two weeks, and today is my first day back.

Our company e-mail system does this thing where they filter out all your junk e-mails and sends you a daily list of junk e-mail that it's intercepted for you. You can then review the list and unjunk any legit e-mails.

Sometimes, spam still manages to hit my inbox. What's more disturbing, though, is that the sender appears to be my own work e-mail address.

Over the last two weeks, I've received quite a few e-mails with somewhat interesting subject lines. Here's a sample:

• "Stiff, long and hard rod"
• "I'm so thick now she says it hurts"
• "Never be flaccid again"
• "Don't wait to be huge"
• "Proven to work in male subjects"
• "Re: Scarlett [Johansen?] did it for cash"
• "Fit perfectly between her jugs"
• "Women will flock like bees to honey"

And my personal favorite, "With 9 inches everything is possible."

Indeed.

Real-live Quidditch Leagues

Yeah, you heard me. It's true.

The first intercollegiate Quidditch match was held here this month, and though this version of the game is earthbound, it's taking off. Originally played by wizards darting about on broomsticks in the Harry Potter novels, the game is now taking root on college campuses.

"We were all Harry Potter's age when the books started," says Sam Libby, 20, a Middlebury College junior geography major from Richmond, Vt. "And Quidditch is one of the most creative things that came out of the books. We were able to create that here, follow all the rules, except the ability to fly. It just caught on."

Quidditch surfaced at Middlebury two falls ago when a handful of students gathered to play a rudimentary form of the game on Sunday afternoons, making up rules extrapolated from the books.

By this month's Intercollegiate Quidditch World Cup Fall Festival, there were banners, team processions worthy of Olympic opening ceremonies, halftime entertainment and 12 seven-person coed Middlebury teams vying for the chance to play the visiting team from Vassar College.

Why can't some things just be left alone? These nerds are ruining the Harry Potter magic for me.


(Photo credit: Alden D. Pellett/USA Today)